FoodMart Frenzy
by Hoverbike Girl
Summary: Updated, with new content and new first chapter The Smash Brothers need groceries, so they travel to a new mall called Smash-Mart. Many wacky adventures await them, including a mystery involving a strange stalker... Transition from Melee to Brawl
1. A Rude Awakening

**Super Smash Brothers**

_**Food-Mart Frenzy**_

By _Hoverbike Girl_

Hello again, dear readers and reviewers! Hoverbike Girl here! This is the newest version of _Food-Mart Frenzy_! The biggest change you'll see is the change from present tense to past tense, but I also did my best to add more jokes here and there. And you've probably noticed by now that this is also a brand-new chapter! But to those of you who liked the original version, don't worry; I kept the main plot of the story (and most of the funny scenes, if not all of them) intact.

For those new to the story, this SSB fic originally started out in the setting of Melee; but as Brawl was developed and released, I made this story a transitioning point between the two games. So as the plot carries on, some characters will leave and new ones will be introduced.

Also, I would like to take a moment to answer a question many reviewers asked as I wrote this: why the Pokemon characters aren't in this story. I have to confess that back when I was first writing this, I was what some would call a "basher" of that franchise, so I purposely left them out. Now, I'm still not a fan of them, but I now realize that was being sort of unfair to SSB players who enjoyed those characters the most--my apologies. However, I decided to still leave them out of this second version of the story; the reason is that putting them in would upset the plot. For now, I ask readers to accept this little plot tidbit: in this story, the Pokemon characters (that includes the Trainer and Lucario from Brawl) had to take leave of the Smash Brothers in order to participate in their competitions. (Forgive me, fans; I know very little about that franchise except that they have their own fighting tournaments.) I appreciate your understanding.

One last thing before I start the story up for you: the inevitable disclaimer.

**Disclaimer:** I, Hoverbike Girl, do not own the Super Smash Brothers franchise or any characters featured in said game or this fanfic. Most of them are owned by Nintendo. Take that, you bloodsucking lawyers! (dodges flaming arrows) Okay, okay, I'm starting it!

* * *

Chapter #1: A Rude Awakening

The sun rose into a clear sky one quiet Saturday morning, over a cluster of low-grade, drab, gray buildings surrounded by high brick walls. Close by, a giant stadium (the first stage in Brawl's Subspace Emissary) floated in the air, empty of its usual cheering throngs. The little complex was the headquarters of the motley crew known as the Super Smash Brothers, or "Smashers" for short.

That Saturday, the organizer of the gladiator-like games, Master Hand, had given all the Smashers the day off. Almost all of them were taking advantage of this rare reprieve by sleeping in, in the largest, longest building on the complex. This collection of dorm rooms, combined with a kitchen, cafeteria, and other necessaries for living, had been dubbed "Smash Mansion" by the more sarcastic members.

The dawn hours came and went. No alarm clocks blared, and the sleeping fighters snored on in their dorms. (There were a few early-risers, but they were careful not to make a sound.) It looked like their break was off to a peaceful start.

"_Nnnooooooooooo!!!"_

…Er, maybe not.

"Wake-up call" would be an understatement to describe the scream; it was more like a nuclear explosion. All over Smash Mansion, Smashers bolted upright in their beds, fell out of their bunks, or unleashed a few screams of their own. For example…

"Mamma mia!" Mario, the most famous Smash Brother, yelped as he sat up in his top bunk. "What was a-that?!"

At about the same time, Fox McCloud rolled out of the bed beneath him (army-camo night clothes and all); he got into firing position, with his blaster (which he kept under his pillow at night) pointed at the door.

The other Star Fox member, Falco Lombardi, also jerked up in his bunk. But he was too quick, and his head smacked the bottom of the bunk above him. He tumbled clumsily out of bed beside his teammate in a heap, groaning, "Oww…"

"Nice form, graceful," Fox muttered without looking at him, with a hint of a smile on his face. "The Tweety PJs are a nice touch."

"Aw, can it, Fox!" the bird retorted, glaring at him. He snatched his blanket to cover up the embarrassing outfit. "Daisy bought 'em, not me!" (A/N: Yes, I'm counting Daisy as a Smasher.)

Mario, wearing his own red, full-body long johns, came down from his bed to join them, a little calmer but no less bewildered. "What was that?"

A cocoon of blankets on the other top bunk was shivering. The voice of his lesser-known brother, Luigi, squeaked out from inside them. "M-m-maybe s-somebody's d-d-dying."

Falco snorted. "Naw. I'll bet it's a horror movie on the TV."

"Someone forgot to turn it off? …Again?" Fox rolled his eyes.

"There was a _CSI: Mushroom Kingdom_ marathon on last night."

"Ah. That explains it."

Suddenly, the scream came again. _"Nnnoooooo!!!"_

The Star Fox leader got to his feet, still holding up his weapon. "Well, TV or not, we should check it out."

He moved toward the door, and Falco, grumbling, fell in step behind him. Mario also followed, after getting his brother to come down from his bunk without any blankets.

Beyond their room, the main hallway of the dorm wing of Smash Mansion was in chaos. Many other Smashers had come out of their rooms; others were timidly peeking out their doors. Quite a few had bloodshot eyes and grimacing faces.

Before Fox had even taken a step out, he had to jump back to avoid a collision. One of their next-door neighbors, Marth, was hopping around the hall like mad, trying to yank something behind him.

Mario leaped out to help, but his eyes grew wide. "Good a-grief, Marth! Is that an arrow a-stuck in your, er, posterior?"

"Yeah, and it hurts like crazy!" yelled the blue-haired warrior. "Link, I'm gonna wipe the floor with you next Melee!"

Said Hylian came out of the room to their left already dressed in his warrior's outfit (he was one of the early-risers), his face flaming red in embarrassment. "I said sorry five times! I was practicing archery, and that scream caught me off guard!" He reached over and yanked his arrow out of Marth in one quick motion; but his roommate howled in pain one more time and glared daggers at him.

Suddenly there a huge _**thud**_, and an additional earthquake threw many of the Smashers to their knees. Then a deafening, furious voice roared out, _**"Who dares to wake me from my royal nap?!"**_

Falco groaned. "Nice going, Marth. You woke up King Char-Breath."

Another voice growled from the same room as Bowser (who else?). "Keep your tantrums to yourself, Your Royal Repulsiveness! Some of us are still tryin' to sleep!"

Link put a hand over his face. "And Ganondorf."

But Mario shrugged. "Let's a-not worry about them. What could a-be making that a-scream?"

"Or who," added Fox.

"We should try the girls," Falco said, rolling his eyes. "They're always screaming about something."

Fox shot him a warning glance, but didn't object to the idea. "You can knock on their door and ask. We'll see to the other rooms."

Trying to ignore the bickering coming from the evil Smashers' room (that would be Bowser and Ganondorf, folks), Star Fox and the Mario Brothers paired off to check the other dorm rooms. Most everyone was already awake (and not too happy about it), so they checked the room belonging to Link and Marth. The latter was in the bathroom, applying bandages to his injury; the former was standing over the bunk belonging to the other Fire Emblem warrior, Roy.

"He is still asleep?" Luigi marveled.

Link shrugged. "He's always been a deep sleeper. Roy? Roy! Come on, wake up!" He did everything he knew—slapping his face, yelling in his ear, and even beating him with another pillow—but the redheaded swordsman didn't stir.

Marth came out of the bathroom to see what they were doing. "Wow," he whispered, "he must really be out of it."

Just as the last word left his mouth, his partner's eyes suddenly snapped open, and he sprang up in his bunk, knocking Link to the floor. "Who said that?! …Oh, hey guys, what's up? …What're you all staring at?"

The Smashers barely had time to puzzle over this odd quirk before another scream pierced the air. But it wasn't the same one they had been hearing lately; it was female.

"_Eeekk! Why you…!"_

_Clang!_

"_Awwk!"_

Marth snickered. "Sounds like Daisy just caught Falco peeking in the girls' room."

"Why do you think I let him go check on them alone?" said Fox with a little grin.

"I don't envy him," Roy remarked, grimacing and rubbing the back of his head. "That frying pan of hers really _hurts_!"

Then Falco appeared in the doorway, and many of the Smashers couldn't help busting out laughing. The frying pan had hit him so hard that it had stuck to his head; there was even a dent in the center where the top of his head was. The bird wobbled around dizzily until he fell back onto one of the bunks, moaning.

"You opened the door to their room while they were getting dressed, didn't you?" asked Fox.

Link turned red. "That happened to me once. Zelda wouldn't speak to me for a week."

"I didn't see anything!" Falco cried out in defense. "They freaked 'cause they saw the door opening! Daisy almost cut my arm off slamming the door on it!"

"Didn't you knock?" Fox said, shaking his head.

"Of course I did!" In a burst of anger, the bird pulled the frying pan off his head and threw it at his partner. But Fox dodged out of the way, and it hit Marth in the stomach instead. He went down, groaning.

Rather than apologize, Lombardi snickered. "You're sure getting your share of pain early today, Marth. First Link's arrow in your rear, and now that."

Roy choked down a laugh. "Whoa, wait, did I miss something?"

The blue-haired swordsman's face turned beet-red; he leaped to his feet, grabbed the frying pan, and started bashing Falco's head with it. The bird fled the room, but Marth pursued, pounding away with the pan. Daisy (fully clothed in her standard dress) just happened to come out into the hallway as they left, and she called after them, "I'll want that back when you're done!"

Then Peach peered into the swordsmen's room. "Good morning," she greeted pleasantly. "Do any of you know who is shouting?"

"That's-a why we are up, Peach," Mario answered. "We a-don't know who it is."

Fox offered, "Falco thought it could be the TV."

But the princess shook her head. "No, I turned it off hours ago. It was keeping Zelda up."

Link gulped. "Uh oh. Is she in a bad mood?"

"I'm afraid so. You boys might want to steer clear of her for a while." Then she tilted her head and put on a puzzled expression. "By the way, have any of you seen Samus?"

But before any of them could reply, the mysterious voice screamed yet another time. _"No, no, no, no, nooooo!!!"_

"Wait a minute!" Link perked up. "That sounds like…!" He checked the bunk above his, and it was empty. "It might be…!"

A huge shadow fell over them, and they all swallowed and turned around. Bowser towered above Peach, a growl rumbling in his throat. His red eyes were horribly bloodshot, and smoke was steaming out of his nose. They all backed away in horror; even Mario was shaking nervously! Then the evil Koopa roared out one word.

"_**Shrimp!!!"**_

From behind him, there was a sleepy yawn. Bowser whirled to glare at the newcomer: Yoshi. The green dinosaur, half-awake and oblivious to the tantrum, shuffled into the room to join the crowd. "That doesn't sound like a shrimp screaming," he mumbled.

"No, no, you muddle-headed frog!" snapped another voice. This time Ganondorf appeared beside his fellow villain. "'Shrimp' is the nickname we gave to that little brat _Young Link_!"

"Oh!" the Smashers exclaimed. All of them looked at Link, who nodded and said, "They're right. It sounds like him."

"Then let's-a go and see what he is a-yelling about!" Mario declared. He darted forward, bounced on Bowser's head, and hit the ground running through the hallway. The Koopa King and Ganondorf suddenly found themselves being trampled by all the others as they followed the plumber's example. The rest of the Smash Brothers not in the room, curious, also took off down the corridor after them.

What in the world could Young Link be screaming about?

* * *

So, what did you think of this brand-new chapter? I hope it was funny and you enjoyed it; I haven't written anything like this in a long while. Don't hesitate to review.

But we're not done! Head on over to the next chapter! It's got some older content you veterans will remember, but it's pretty new too!


	2. A Terrible Crisis?

Chapter #2: A Terrible Crisis?

"We're coming, Young Link!" Yoshi cried.

"Smash Brothers to the rescue!" Ness yelled.

But as the throng of Nintendo fighters rounded a corner in the hallway, Peach suddenly gasped. "Wait, everyone, watch your step!"

Too late. The front runners stumbled at the top of Smash Mansion's main staircase, and went rolling down to the bottom. Anyone that tried to stop was pushed from behind. Within seconds, all of the Smashers were tangled in a chaotic heap of bodies on the bottom steps. Groans and pained cries filled the air.

"Oww…somebody get the license number of that semi truck…"

"Look who's callin' who a semi truck, Your Royal Immenseness."

"If you don't want me to roast you into a turkey, bird, you should shut your beak!"

Someone else moaned, "Urgh, where's the Tylenol?"

"Forget medicine. Call the ambulance! I can't feel my legs…!"

"Oh dear, I think the hem of my dress is torn!"

"Leave it to a princess to cry about a torn dress instead of a broken leg. _Ow!_ _Easy_ with that golf club!"

"Auntie Em! Auntie Em!"

"Nobody a-move! I'll a-get my medic kit!"

Leave it to Dr. Mario to take charge in a medical crisis. When he returned with his white case of instruments and first-aid items, he clicked his tongue at the dog-pile of fighters. "Tsk, tsk. 'Haste makes a-waste', fellows. Now, let's-a see here…"

With his help, the fighters got up off the floor, one by one, and let him check them over for any serious injuries. But most of them only had minor cuts, bruises, and tender areas; years of Melees had hardened them to beatings, but that didn't mean they didn't complain a bit.

Fox tried to see the humor of it. "What a way to start the morning."

"_Not_ what _I_ had in mind," grumbled Zelda, who _was_ in a foul mood.

It wasn't what Ganondorf had had in mind, either. He stormed away from the stairs to the Smash Mansion kitchen, roaring, _"Shrimp!_ When I find you, I'm gonna throw _you_ down the stairs!"

"That's-a right!" Mario said, standing up straight. "Young Link!"

The Smashers instantly forgot their pain and also hurried into the kitchen. They found Young Link tearing around the room, peering into cabinets, cupboards, and the fridge. But after each one, he howled out a _"No!"_ and resumed his panicky rush.

"_Quit yellin', shrimp!"_ Ganondorf bellowed, hardly caring that he was yelling much louder than the kid. _"It's __a Saturday, and we're all tryin' to sleep in!"_

But Young Link either didn't hear or ignored him; he kept on running around, searching frantically for something. His enemy, his face turning purplish-red with rage, dove after him. The boy started running in circles around an island (a type of counter) in the middle of the kitchen, and Ganon followed. It wasn't long before many of the Smashers were dizzy just from watching them.

"Oh, a-dear," Mario muttered. "How do we a-make them stop?"

Peach hummed thoughtfully, and then maneuvered her way to a small bell hanging on a wall. She rang it repeatedly, until both Ganondorf and Young Link stopped their running to look at her.

But the bell was also loud enough to reach the dorm rooms, and two Smashers who hadn't woken up before appeared at the top of the stairs. One, Captain Falcon, was actually sleepwalking! But his inevitable fall down the stairs woke him up. "Ow! When I find the racer that ran me over, I'll—oh, wait…never mind."

The other, Kirby, eagerly slid down the banister and darted into the kitchen, eyes sparkling. "Sorry I'm late! What's for breakfast?!" (That was what the bell was for.)

"Hold that thought, Kirby," Peach said. "Young Link has some explaining to do."

Zelda wasn't as soft-spoken. "You little brat!" she snapped. "You woke me up from my beauty sleep! I need to get at least 9 hours of sleep or I'll end up being very cranky!"

Bowser muttered under his breath, "You should shoot for 10…"

The Hylian princess whirled around to face the Koopa. "I heard that!" She threw her hand back and then slapped Bowser hard in the face.

"_Nobody slaps the almighty __**Bowser**__, King of the Koopas!!!"_ he roared furiously, eyes smoldering.

"Koopas, Shmoopas, just shut up," grumbled Falco.

Peach waited patiently for the complaining to subside, and then turned to Young Link. "Now then, what are you so upset about?"

The boy instantly tensed up again, and he whimpered, "The most terrible thing has happened!"

Several reactions happened at once. Kirby's eyes widened, and he said, "The Apocalypse is coming?!"

Yoshi feared that his worst nightmare had come true. "Yoshi Island has been turned into a resort?!"

The same could be said for Captain Falcon. "We're out of car polish?" A few glared at him, and he nervously held up his hands. "What? Gotta keep #7 clean…"

Young Link ignored them and said, "_Much_ worse!"

Everyone stared at him with worry.

"We're…we're…"

"C'mon, kid, spit it out!" Falco urged.

Young Link hesitated for one moment, and then blurted out, _"We're out of Lon Lon Milk!!!"_

Silence. The crowd of Smashers stared blankly at the young warrior, blinking, and then a good number of them fell to the ground anime-style, both in annoyance and relief.

"_**Aaaaaaaaarrrrrggghhh!!!!!!"**_ the evil Smashers screamed, outraged at the simple answer.

Likewise, Falco shouted, "That's it? _That's it?!_ You were screaming and running around like a little maniac because of _milk?!"_

"You could have waked the dead with all that noise!" Marth put in.

"I was worried the Wire Frames were invading," added Fox, tucking his blaster back in its holster.

"You don't get it!" Young Link pleaded. "It's not just any milk! It's _Lon Lon Milk_!"

His older self was about to make a comeback, but he stopped and thought about it. "You know, he has a point. That stuff is pretty good—addicting, even."

"Yeah, I know!" Kirby exclaimed. "I had the whole carton for a midnight snack last ni—" he froze, "…Oops."

Young Link stared at him, his left eye twitching. _"__**You**__ drank the last of it?!"_ With a wild scream, he dove for Kirby and started pummeling him with his bare hands. Soon the pair was tussling all over the kitchen floor.

Many of the Smashers took several steps back to avoid the fight. "Gee," Falco remarked, "I've never seen that kid go loco before."

Link shrugged. "He loves his Lon Lon Milk." (A/N: Melee winner clips of Young Link, anyone?)

"But he shouldn't attack Kirby over it," Peach interjected. "Yoshi, can you break them up?"

The dinosaur swallowed nervously. "I'll try." Then he brightened. "I know how!" He ran over to the wrestling pair, waited for a second, and then shot his tongue out. His aim was good, and he caught Young Link. In the blink of an eye, he reeled him into his mouth, swallowed him, and deposited him on the floor inside a Yoshi egg.

Zelda wrinkled her nose. "That's just disturbing."

"Yoshi anatomy is very unusual," Dr. Mario admitted with a shrug.

"Hey! _Hey! Lemme out!"_ Young Link yelled from within the egg. "It's cramped in here!"

"Will you stop beating up Kirby?" Peach asked.

The egg rocked violently, nearly tipping over. "No!"

The princess folded her arms and tapped one of her feet, and her tone became firmer. "Young Link…"

The Yoshi egg settled down. "…Fine."

"Good. Yoshi, care to help?"

Saluting, Yoshi took a step back, and then kicked the egg high into the air. When it hit the ceiling, it cracked open, and Young Link fell into Ganondorf's arms. The evil Smasher promptly dropped him in disgust.

"Now, can we trust you to settle down?" Peach said.

After brushing off pieces of eggshell, the boy shook his head. "Nope! That's not the end of the story! I was looking for more milk in the kitchen, when I realized," he paused to gulp, _"we don't have __**any**__ food!"_

Everyone gave a start, and a few went into the kitchen and looked through the cabinets and refrigerator. Luigi started to sweat. "H-he's a-right," he stuttered. "Everything's empty!"

Falco rubbed the back of his neck. "Okay, _that's_ a reason to panic."

Yoshi and Kirby promptly took him up on that suggestion. The dinosaur ran around in circles, much like Young Link had done earlier. _"What are we gonna do?!" _he wailed.

Kirby just plopped down on the tiled floor and started bawling his eyes out. _"We're all gonna __**diiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee!!!"**_

Captain Falcon rolled his eyes. "You two are such babies."

Young Link grinned inwardly, knowing exactly how to humiliate the racer. He quickly added, "I checked your secret brownie stash, Falcon. They're gone."

It worked. Captain Falcon's eyes nearly burst out of their goggles. _"No! Not my precious brownie-wownies!!!"_ He collapsed to the floor and bawled with Kirby, pounding his hands and feet on the ground like an infant having a fit. _"Waaaaaaahhh!!!"_

Many Smashers rolled their eyes or snickered at their behavior. But Mario slapped his forehead and mutters, "Oh a-brother."

But he forgot Luigi was right beside him. "That's a-me! You a-called?" Mario slapped himself even harder for the stupid pun.

Bowser finally lost his patience with Kirby and Falcon. "Quit the waterworks, _please_! They're drivin' me bananas!"

Young Link saw another opportunity for a joke, and cut in, "We're all outta those too." (It's true.)

Zelda's eyebrows shot up. "What?! There were 10 of them last night! Who ate them all?!"

Everybody glares accusingly at—you guessed it—Donkey Kong. He blinked back at them innocently, not realizing that he was being accused of raiding the fridge, something none of the Smashers approved of. He asked in Monkey, "…Ook? Ook-ack ack ack ook eek? (What? Why's everyone lookin' at me?)"

"He always was a little slow," mumbled Falco.

Bowser shouted in the ape's face, _"You ate all the bananas, you idiot!!!"_ (A/N: Sheesh, temper, temper.)

Donkey caught on, and he held his giant hands in the air in innocence. "Ook?! Eek ack eek, ack ook! (What?! It wasn't me, I swear!)" Bowser and Ganondorf continued glaring at him, but the others just rolled their eyes and left him alone.

Luigi went back to searching through the cupboards for any food, chewing his lip. "And no a-milk means we can't a-have cereal, either. Mamma mia, this is not a-good."

Young Link happened to notice Mr. Game & Watch observing the kitchen calmly (for someone who didn't really have a face). He said, "Oh, uh, by the way, we're out of that 8-Bits Cereal, too."

The two-dimensional Smasher jolted, and yelped out, "Bwap?! (What?!)" Then he started dancing frantically in place, doing his odd, jerky motions. "Beep bop boop! Beep bop blip-blip boop! (This is bad! This is very bad!)"

Bowser glared daggers at him and pointed a finger. _"Don't you start too!"_ Immediately Game & Watch stopped, quivering fearfully.

Sighing, Peach turned to the three babies (Yoshi, Kirby, and Captain Falcon) and tried to calm them down. "You don't need to cry about this. We can just get more milk at the grocery store."

It was like she flipped a switch. Yoshi screeched to a stop with a smile on his face, Kirby's tears dried up, and Captain Falcon stopped sucking his thumb. After a little pause, they shouted happily in unison, "Peach, you're a_ genius!"_

Bowser slapped a great paw over his muzzle and grumbled, "You three make a Goomba look brilliant."

Yoshi glared at him. "Hey!"

"That's insulting!" Kirby put in.

Captain Falcon, however, was a tad clueless. "What's a Goomba?"

"But the store doesn't have Lon Lon Milk!" complains Young Link. "And Master Hand closed up the world portal after _someone_ tried to take over the Great Fox!" He (and the Star Fox members) glared at Ganondorf, who snorted and turned away. "Now I can't go back home get the milk from the ranch!"

This problem seemed to stump Peach. But luckily, Daisy had a solution. "Wait! Remember that big lot where they were doing all the construction, by the donut shop?" she said. "There's a new store there, and I heard it sells the milk you like. It's called _Smash-Mart!"_

"'Smash-Mart'?" Fox echoed with a cocked eyebrow.

Yoshi, Kirby, and Captain Falcon grinned and drooled at the mention of their favorite pastry. _"Donuts?!?!"_

Bowser threw his arms up and snarled, "_Forget_ the donuts! Let's go to that new store and get some grub! I'm so hungry I could eat a Yoshi!"

Yoshi's eyes grew wide, and with a whimper, he ducked behind Kirby. The pink puffball stood on the tips of his toes and inflated himself to look bigger. "Try it, and I'll eat _you_!"

Peach looked around at the hungry Smashers, and sighed. "I guess it's unanimous. We have no food here, so we'll have to get some. Let's just hope that store is open on Saturdays. Captain Falcon, if you would be so kind, could you check on the gas for the bus? The rest of you should get changed. We're going on a trip."

"Yeah! A trip, a trip!" Ness exclaimed.

The gang of fighters went stampeding up the staircase to change their outfits and prepare for the trip. But one of them was a little slower than the rest: Fox. He kept frowning and rubbing his chin.

"Smash-Mart—weird name for a store," he mumbled. "I don't like it. Something crazy could happen…"

Falco shook his head and slammed him on the back. "Aw, come on, Fox, you're just bein' paranoid! So somebody gave the store a dumb name—big deal! We're just going on a boring little shopping trip! What could happen?"

(…Oh, a lot of things…heh heh heh…)


	3. Road Trip!

Chapter #3: Road Trip!

A while back, Master Hand had procured and modified an old bus so the large group of Smashers could get around. But it wasn't in the best condition, and for some of the fighters, it was a bit too small; it had been a school-bus meant for little kids, not giant apes or Koopas. It took nearly half an hour for everyone to make it through the main door (Bowser and Donkey Kong had to use the back one) and find seats.

"_Ow!_ Bowser, watch those spikes, will ya?!" yelped Young Link as the Koopa King squeezed past him.

In the seat behind the boy, Kirby cried in a muffled voice, "DK, you're squishing me!"

DK, the clueless buffoon, was actually sitting on poor Kirby. But the puffball, unable to stand any more pressure, briefly turned into a spike. The ape shot into the air, yelping in pain, and his head smashed through the bus's ceiling. When he started kicking his legs, Kirby changed seats to sit with his buddy Yoshi.

When everybody had his or her seats, Peach climbed into the driver's seat and pulled out the bus keys. But then Captain Falcon saw them and perked up. "Hey, Peach! I could drive!"

The princess rolled her eyes and answered, "Dream on, Mr. F-Zero. Remember the _last_ time we let you drive the bus?"

Everyone shuddered, remembering that horrible experience…

* * *

**(Flashback)**

Captain Falcon jerked the Smasher bus in and out of heavy traffic, shouting and shaking his fist victoriously every time he knocked a car off the highway. **"Yes!!!** _Ha ha ha!!!"_ he screamed maniacally. _"I'm_ _beatin' you, Blood Falcon!!! You can't catch me now!!!"_

Behind him, the other Smashers screamed in terror and were holding on for dear life. The girls' hair were completely messed up, and Mario had lost his hat. Yoshi, Young Link, and Kirby were in the back, clinging to each other and shrieking, _"Mad F-Zero Racer!!!_ _**Mad F-Zero Racer!!!"**_

Daisy carefully stood up in her seat and called out desperately, "Mr. Falcon, please! _Stop the bus!"_

After running a school bus off the road, Falcon turned his head and shouted back, _"No way!_ I'm winnin' the race at Mute City! I can't stop now!_ I'm winning!" _

To the passengers' horror, he floored the gas pedal, pushing it to the next gear. Luigi, who had no grip on anything, was sent flying smack into the back window, and the physical forces of gravity (and such) held him there. Mario got up to aid his brother, but he wobbled too much and fell to his knees.

The bus was speeding so fast that some of the Smashers were half-flying in the air. DK, one of those unfortunate souls, gripped a seat with his feet flailing through the air behind him. _"Eeeeeek ack ooookk __**aaaaack!!!**_ _(Somebody stop this __**maniac!!!**__)" _ Suddenly he lost his grip and slammed into the window, almost breaking it and crushing poor Luigi.

Falco was the luckiest of the group, since he was a bird. He managed to get close to the driver's seat and shouted in the Captain's ear, "This isn't a Mute City race, Falcon! This is a _public highway!_ And those cars _aren't_ F-Zero Racers!"

Captain Falcon only laughed hysterically. "Yes they are! And I'm winning! Even though _I don't have my public driver's license!"_

All of the Smashers' eyes widened at this news. The guys shouted, _**"What?!"**_ and the girls, Yoshi, and Kirby began screaming at the top of their lungs.

"_Mad F-Zero Racer without a license!!! __**Mad F-Zero Racer **__**without a license**__**!!!"**_ shrieked Young Link, at the brink of losing his sanity.

Captain Falcon then turned to them with an insane grin. "But I have good news!"

Link, who is desperate for any good news, replied, _"What is it?!"_

"I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!"

_**CRASH!!!**_

**(End Flashback)

* * *

**

The Smashers shuddered again, and Peach frowned at Falcon. "We were just plain lucky the bus didn't burst into flames with the way you crashed it!" she said.

Seeing that everyone was glaring at him, the humiliated racer sputtered, "But I got the girls out!"

Zelda objected, "No you didn't! Fox did!"

Daisy sighed dreamily, "My hero…" Fox blushed bright red in embarrassment.

Falco snapped, "In fact, if it weren't for him, your sorry hide would be sittin' in jail for driving without a public license!"

"It took a lot to get him a-bailed," said Dr. Mario with a nod.

"A-not to mention the a-mental therapy to a-get him to stop-a thinking the highways were all a big a-race," Mario put in. "And the medical a-bills for all of us, including my-a poor brother!" Luigi nodded his head but kept quiet.

Peach summed up the debate by saying very firmly, "You cost Master Hand _thousands_ of dollars, and he took it out on us! There is _no way _that we're letting you drive this bus again! Got it?"

Falcon opened his mouth to object, but furious scowls from his comrades shut him up. With his shoulders slumped and lower lip out, he plopped in the seat behind Peach. Folding his arms, he added a "Hmph!" to his pout. But then he felt someone fidget in the seat beside him, and he turned his head; his face paled. He was sitting next to his least favorite Smash Brother in the world.

Ness.

Ness, who talked a million miles an hour.

Ness, who liked to hit Falcon with his yo-yo.

_Ness, who hated long car trips._

"Oh great," he mumbled.

Before he could change seats, Peach started the bus (she's got her driver's license, thank goodness!) and they were off to Smash-Mart! They were only on the road for five minutes, and then Ness turned to his neighbor with a creepy, insane grin—a very bad sign.

(A/N: When Ness speaks, he talks_** really**_ fast!)

"Hey, Falcon, whaddya think Smash-Mart will have? Do you think they'll have sports stuff? Huh, huh? Do ya think they'll have sports stuff?" he babbled.

The words went right over Falcon's head. "Uhhh…"

"Me too! I like sports? Do you like sports? Huh, huh? Yeah, so do I! I _**love**_ sports! Especially baseball! But I hope they have yo-yos! I _**love**_ yo-yos! Do _you_ love yo-yos? I wanna get a new set 'cause I broke fifteen of 'em in Melees and I lost my ten glow-in-the-dark ones. I had a really cool light-up one but I smashed Zelda's bedroom mirror with it and I had to hide it so she wouldn't know I did it and—"

Unfortunately for him, the Hylian princess, who is in the seat in front of them, heard that last comment. _"What?!"_ she shrieked, twisting around in her seat to face him. "It was you all along! I'll get you, you little…" She fumbled with her seatbelt, intent on getting up to beat that kid's lights out, but Daisy grabbed her arms and held her in her seat.

"Now, Zelda, don't get worked up," said the other princess. "You can get your revenge at the store." Realizing this, Zelda smirked at the boy, whose eyes widened. In fear he ducked under his seat.

There was a brief moment of quiet; Ness, too afraid of Zelda to talk, waited under the seat until she had turned her attention elsewhere. Then, much to Captain Falcon's dismay, he climbed out and started yammering about baseball bats he broke in the middle of Melees. After about ten minutes of chatting, Falcon broke out into a sweat and started looking for an empty seat he could take. But there is none. Ready to do _anything_ to stop the boy's insane talking, he tried to open the window next to him so he could jump out.

While doing so, he heard Young Link ask, "Peach, how long 'till we get to Smash-Mart?"

The princess replied, "Half an hour to forty-five minutes, Young Link. Sorry."

Many other Smashers groaned, and Luigi mumbled, "This is a-gonna be one long a-trip."

Realizing that means he will have to sit and listen to Ness for at least 30 more minutes, Falcon frantically pushed the window up with all his might. He was putting his foot out the window when the bus braked to a stop at an intersection; the force sent him backward out of his seat and into Marth's arms. He disgustedly shoved him back into the seat next to Ness. Foiled for the moment, the racer sat still, thinking up a new plan to get away from "that freaky kid".

There is silence.

Silence.

Silence.

And then Ness said to Captain Falcon, "…Are we there yet?"

Captain Falcon replied, "No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Do you have any food?"

"No."

"Do you have any yo-yos?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

While the two went back and forth with this charade, something else happened further to the back of the bus. Falco, seemingly for the first time, noticed DK stuck in the bus's ceiling, above one of the rear seats. "What happened to him?" he asked Fox. McCloud could only shrug in reply. The bird sighed and grumbled, "Hang on, ya idiot, I'll get you down." Waiting until the bus is stopped at another red light, he stood up, went to the seat, grabbed the ape's legs, and pulled with all his might.

Donkey started to protest. _"Ack!_ Ook eek ack! Ook eek! (_Ouch!_ Stop, stupid bird! That hurts!)" Unfortunately, Falco didn't speak Monkey and kept on pulling. The unfortunate part was that when DK came out, he landed right on Falco.

"Argh! Get off me, ya stupid ape!" the bird screamed underneath the hulking gorilla's back.

The Mario Brothers, who were in the seat in front of the Star Fox teammates, got up and (with Fox's help) lifted Donkey Kong off Falco. Growling in Monkey about his sore neck, DK sat in the seat and ignored his helpers.

"Thanks, guys," says Falco, rubbing his dented beak.

"Just be a-careful next time you go a-helping two-hundred-pound gorillas," Mario said with a chuckle.

While those three were getting settled in their seats again, a cell phone suddenly rang; it turned out to be Peach's. As she took it out and checked the caller ID, she accidentally drove onto the wrong street. Without noticing, she set it between her cheek and her shoulder and said, "Hello? Yes, this is she. …No, I'm not interested in buying your product. Thank you anyway."

Then she hung up her phone and looked up. "Oops, wrong street." She quickly made the correction and found a way back onto the right street. "Sorry, everyone. I was busy with…"

The phone rang again, and she picked it up. "Hello? Yes, it's Princess Peach…" Again she made a wrong turn. "…No, I think we're satisfied with our current service…" Peach missed a stoplight and nearly ran over an old Koopa lady crossing the street. "I'm sorry, but I am _not_ interested. Please don't call back." She hung up the phone again and narrowly avoided missing her turn.

"These salesmen today," she said to the others. "Two in a row, too. It's like somebody gave my number out on the Internet or something!"

Near the back of the bus, Bowser and Ganondorf exchanged worried looks and whistled "innocently".

Then the phone rang _again._ Sighing with a hint of a growl in her voice, she picked it up for the third time. "Yes? Oh, you again…" Again she missed a stoplight, causing an accident behind the bus. "…I already told you before: I don't want to buy your product…"

After the twelfth honk from drivers she almost hit, several of the Smashers started to sweat. "Uhh…Peach?" Fox called out.

She didn't hear him. "…No, sir, I would have no use for such a thing…" Talking with the salesman was distracting her from her driving as she focused more on the phone than on the road. "…I don't care if it's revolutionary! It's too expensive and I don't need it!"

The bus's speed increased beyond the normal speed limit; if a police car were to catch them, they would be in hot water. Fox said again, a little louder, "Uhh…_Peach?"_

Everyone else shuffled uneasily in their seats—except for Captain Falcon and Ness. Oblivious to what was happening around them, they were still going on with their "conversation".

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

Peach lost her temper with the salesman, and her voice reached a furious pitch. "Listen, buster, you've got a lot of nerve to be arguing with me on _my_ phone! For the last time, I don't want your product!" The voice on the other end continued to try reasoning with her, and the poor princess screamed back, not taking notice of her speed, which was nearing 75.

"Peach!!!" yelled Fox. "Get off the phone! You're going too fast!" Unfortunately, he was not heard.

"No…no…_no! _I don't want anything from you at _all__!__" _

The speed of the bus went past 75, and some of the Smashers began to feel nauseous. Luigi's face turned as green as his shirt.

Link shouted, "Peach! Get off that stupid phone! You're gonna kill us!". The others gave similar pleas—except for Ness and Falcon again.

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

Young Link took up the fetal position on his seat and started sucking his thumb. "Not again, not again…" he whimpered over and over.

The group again remembered what happened with Captain Falcon, and they too realized that it was occurring again. Suddenly they saw a brick wall and a gate ahead of them, and Peach was driving towards it at full speed! They crank up the volume by several decibels, screaming in perfect unison.

"_**Peach!!! **__**Get off the phone!!!**__**"**_

The driving princess finally shut off the phone and threw it on the dashboard. Hearing them, she turned to look at them, blinking in confusion. "Huh? What the matter, guys? Why are you looking at me like tha—**oh** **my gosh!"**

They had pointed frantically toward the wall, and she had turned her head and seen the obstacle. Peach desperately slammed on the brakes and swerved to miss the wall; but the bus had too much momentum and wasn't agile enough to turn on a dime. It crashed straight through the wall into a parking lot, fell on its side and screeched slowly to a halt.

Had the Smashers' "casual shopping trip" ended in disaster?


	4. Welcome to SmashMart

Chapter #4: Welcome to Smash-Mart

For what seemed like an eternity, there was silence at the scene of crash. The wheels on the bus spun 'round and 'round (A/N: cough, sorry), and smoke steamed out of the mangled engine. But finally, when all had settled, moans and pained whimpers could be heard from inside the bus. Then a high, panicky scream split the air.

"_Aaaahhh!!!_ We're _dead_! We had a crash! We're gonna _diiiiiieee_!"

"Uhhh, Kirby," said Yoshi, "the bus stopped. And we're not dead."

"…Oh."

Someone else, Ganondorf, snorted. "We're not dead _yet_. The fuel tank could be leaking, and if there's an open spark, we'll explode."

"_Aaaaaahhhh!!!"_ Kirby screamed again. "Get me outta here, _get me outta here!"_

"_Now_ look what you did! You got him scared again!" Yoshi hissed at the evil Smasher.

"But he has a point," Fox said. "We should get out of the bus as quickly as possible."

Roy called out, "Ladies first! That means you, Marth, heh heh!"

"Shut up, Roy."

The bus was lying on the side with the main door, so Fox had to kick out one of the windows and squeeze out. He helped others through and down to stable ground. Whoever couldn't fit (like Bowser and DK) had to use the back door. When everyone was out, they moved to a safe distance, and Dr. Mario went around checking them. Once again, no one was seriously hurt.

Once everyone had gotten their second wind, they all turned and glared at Peach. She held her cell phone and what was left of the wheel sheepishly. "Um, oops?" she said, hoping that someone would laugh. Nobody did.

Bowser, as usual, exploded. "_Peach_, you dumb broad! Look what you did to the bus!"

Mario quickly jumped to her defense. "A-don't you be a-calling Peach ugly a-names!" he barked at his archenemy, clenching his fists.

It was Ganondorf's turn to shout. "Can it, plumber! Thanks to your girlfriend, we're stuck here! And Master Hand will have our heads for crashing the bus…_again_!"

At the mention of their tyrannical boss, the Smashers fell silent, with each of them thinking of what punishment might await them. Then, deciding to change the subject, Daisy asked, "What was that salesman guy trying to sell you, Peach?"

Peach scratched the back of her neck in embarrassment. "Err, um, well…" she lifted her shoulders into a nervous shrug, "piggy banks?"

Everybody gaped at her. "…What?" Link choked out.

"They came in six colors, but they were twenty dollars each! That's a rip-off!" replied the princess, shifting her feet uncomfortably.

"You _crashed_ the bus because some _moron_ was trying to sell you _piggy banks?!"_ Ganondorf fumed with gritted teeth.

Smoke billowed out of Bowser's nostrils, and his eyes flashed red—always a bad sign. A furious, low rumble started in his throat. _"Peach…"_ he backed up slightly, _"you…" _ The others saw what was coming and backed away. Then the Koopa spewed fire out of his mouth, engulfing Peach in the flames, roaring at the same time, _**"**__**IDIOT!!!**__**"**_

Daisy slapped Bowser for barbecuing her friend. "Take a chill pill, Godzilla! She didn't mean to do it!"

"Yeah, but she almost got us killed!" objected Falco.

Kirby added, "She's almost as bad at driving as Mr. Mad F-Zero Racer!"

Young Link cut in, "That's 'Mr. Mad F-Zero Racer _Without a_ _License'_, Kirby," before he resumed sucking his thumb.

Speaking of Mr. Mad F-Zero Racer Without a License…

"Are we there yet?" asked Ness for the umpteenth time. But this time he got no answer. "Are we there yet?" he said again. And then, "Aw, c'mon, you stopped playing the game! Why'd you stop, huh, huh, why'd you stop?" He turned and looked to see for himself.

Away from the crowd of Smashers, Captain Falcon was on his knees, gaping wide-eyed at something in the distance. A wild look was in his eyes, and he drooled and mumbled insanely in gibberish.

"Falcon, I said _'Are we there yet?'_" Ness repeated with a stomp of his foot. He anticipated the expected "no", but the dumbstruck racer said something different.

"Yes."

"Huh? Hey, you're supposed to say 'no'! Why'd you say yes?"

"Yes."

"Aw, now you're doing the funny part! That's _my _job!"

"Yes."

"Then let _me _say the funny part!"

"Yes." Suddenly Falcon jumped up and started dancing madly in circles, waving his arms. "Yes, yes, _yes!!! We're here, we're __**here!!!"**_

The gang stopped their bickering and looked to see what he was pointing at. They froze and stared in amazement.

They were standing in the parking lot of a white super-store. And on the front of the building were the bold, bright-red letters, "Smash-Mart".

They _were_ there. They had made it to _Smash-Mart!_

The Smashers forgot their crash and Master Hand's future tantrum in an instant; their empty stomachs (and the girls' shopaholic urges) begged for their attention, calling to mind their original errand. The bus could wait; they had shopping to do!

In the blink of an eye, the gang erupted into a heated race to the entrance of the superstore. Fox, being the fastest of them, made it first through the automatic sliding doors; but once he was inside, he screeched to a halt. Others after him knocked into him from behind, creating a stack through the sliding doors. But when they had untangled themselves, the Smashers gaped at the sight before them.

Smash-Mart was much bigger on the inside than it looked from the outside; it had three floors! The first (ground floor) consisted of a lobby, a food court, grocery stores, and even a small theater. The other two floors were lower than the first, like basement floors. The second floor housed furniture, clothing, appliances, and sporting goods stores. The third had electronics, game arcades, toy stores, and a strange-looking metal garage door (A/N: we'll find out about that later, heh heh heh…). The three floors were connected via escalators, and there were a few elevators to the right side on each floor. Also, the ceiling was made up of glass windows to let in light, and the floors were checkered white-and-green tiles. The whole store was bathed in bright light, making the place appear to be (and some might say it was) shopping heaven.

"_Wow_. They should call this place Smash-_Mall_!" commented Young Link. His voice echoed off the polished walls.

"Look at all the clothing stores!" squealed Daisy.

Yoshi and Kirby drooled, their wide eyes locked on the food court nearby. "And the _food_…" they said in unison.

Peach noticed her comrades' mesmerized reactions to the mall, and she quickly tried to establish a system of touring it before they lost their heads completely. "Now remember, we're here for the stuff on my shopping list, and that's all we're going to ge—"

But she was too late. The hungrier Smashers (Yoshi and Kirby, of course) darted for the food court. Soon, others started taking off, as well.

"Hey, where are you all going?! Come back!"

But everyone ignored Peach and went his/her own way.

Upon seeing a Sears store close by, Daisy rushed off while looking into her purse for her wallet. Zelda, wanting some new furniture for the girls' room in Smash Mansion, raced to catch her, with the Ice Climbers skipping beside her. Bowser and Ganondorf, for some unknown reason (for now), also followed.

The Mario Bros., who seemed to be the only ones listening to Peach, trotted off to a grocery store to find the items needed. Mr. Game & Watch, Dr. Mario (who hoped he could find some needed medicine), Donkey Kong (he wanted more bananas), and a slightly hesitant Young Link joined them.

Link, Marth, Roy, Fox, and Falco decided to go together to the sporting goods store located on the bottom floor, hoping they would have swords and blasters. Excluding Peach, only Captain Falcon and Ness were left. The racer, after thinking for a moment, headed off after the sporting goods group; Ness secretly followed after him.

Peach moaned and stamped her foot in irritation. "D'oh! At this rate it will take _forever_ for us to get what we need and go home! And if Master Hand visits home and finds it empty, ohhh…!"

She began to pace around the lobby, intentionally shouting out what kinds of penalties would be in store for them back home if they dilly-dallied. But, in the middle of her little fit of temper, she failed to hear the sound of the sliding door opening. A shadowy figure tiptoed past the flustered princess into the vast mall, searching for his target—_a Smasher._

"_Finally, after all those weeks of searching, I've found you. I'll have what I want before this day is done…"_

_

* * *

_And thus enters this mysterious character known as the Stalker, ladies and gentlemen! He's the reason this story is categorized also as Mystery. I won't reveal his identity for some time, though; but I _am _going to leave very subtle hints to you about his personality and his mission. Let's see if you can guess his identity before I write it! (evil laugh)


	5. Shopping on the Top Floor

Chapter #5: Shopping on the Top Floor

**Smash-Mart Grocery Store, Top Floor**

Mario, Luigi, Young Link, and Mr. Game & Watch stood beside the shopping-cart aisle of the grocery store, looking around and trying to figure out where to start looking for the items on Peach's list. The red plumber immediately took authority.

"All righty, then! Let's a-split up and take a-different carts!" He tore Peach's list in two and handed one half to his brother. "Young a-Link, you go with my a-brother; Mr. a-Game & Watch, come with a-me!"

The Hylian boy was already regretting his choice to tag alone with the three, since it looked like it wasn't going to be fun. He folded his arms and jutted his lower lip out in a pout. "This is gonna be boring!"

Mr. Game & Watch had almost mutual feelings. "Beep beep bop blip blip beep boop… (I wish he wasn't going with us…)"

"Don't a-worry, Young Link," said Luigi, "we'll have fun!" No one heard him mutter to himself, "I hope…"

The boy shrugged and hopped into the cart the green brother was taking. The foursome split up and started their shopping.

* * *

**Sears, Top Floor**

In spite of the giant size of the Sears store, it hadn't taken the princesses too long to find the dress department; Daisy, Zelda, and even Nana were trying on new dresses in the women's dressing room. The boys were forced to wait outside.

Popo, who was beginning to wish he had gone to the sporting goods store for some new parkas, leaned on the side of one stall with complete disinterest. Ganondorf tapped his foot impatiently, and Bowser paced.

Finally the Koopa King lost his patience. "Would you two _hurry up?!" _he growled, banging on the side of the dressing rooms with one fist.

"Get your flame breath ready," his villain buddy urged him. "They might need some incentive."

"Gladly!"

"Let me take off this last dress…" Daisy called from inside her stall. She stepped out in her regular gown and put back the dress she had tried on. Suddenly she squealed, "Oh! That one is gorgeous!" She rushed to another display, where a white gown hung.

Ganondorf groaned and slapped his forehead. "Not _again!__"_

"Not one more, Princess!" Bowser shouted.

But Daisy didn't hear them. "I wonder what _Luigi_ would think of this dress if I wore it…" she said dreamily.

Ganondorf banged on the stall door with Zelda inside and yelled, "Zelda, get out here and tell Daisy to quit stalling us!"

An answer of "All right, all right, I'm coming!" was heard. The Hylian princess walked out wearing a light blue gown. "Hey, Daisy!"

The girl turned to her friend, the dress in hand. "Yes?"

The boys thought she was going to talk some sense into the Princess of Seresa Land, and held their breath. But instead Zelda pointed to her dress and asked, "Do I look fat in this?"

Bowser and Ganondorf cried _**"Arrrrgghh!!!"**_ before falling to the ground in defeat.

Daisy, oblivious to the evil Smashers, giggled and said, "No, silly! You look just fine!"

But Zelda wasn't satisfied with the answer and wanted a second opinion. Popo and Nana were the chosen victims.

"What do you two think? Do I look fat?"

Nana shook her head, but Popo nodded vigorously—a tie vote.

"Hey, Zelda, how does this gown look?" Daisy held up the white dress. "Think I would look good in it?"

"Sure! Why don't you try it on really quick?"

At that Bowser sat up and roared, _"No! __**No more dresses!"**_

Startled and terrified, Daisy stammered, "N-never mind. I-I'll put it back and try it l-later."

Ganondorf also jumped up and declared in relief, "_Finally_! Let's go to the tools section!"

Popo brightened, hoping that he could find some mountain-climbing equipment by there. The boys took off, leaving the girls. Nana struggled to catch up, while Zelda and Daisy paid for their dresses. They jogged after the rest of the group, shaking their heads.

"Men," they groaned in unison.

* * *

**Food Court, Top Floor**

"Whew, I'm done," said Kirby as he finished a corn dog. "I can't eat another one or I'll burst."

Yoshi grabbed his companion's other two corn dogs and tossed them into the air. Kirby gaped as his buddy snagged them with his tongue and gulped them down in seconds. Then he spat out the sticks like a gun firing bullets, and the sticks hit a wooden popcorn sign, landing perfectly in the center of both O's.

"Yummy! Your loss!" the dinosaur said, rubbing his tummy.

"Wow! You've gotta show _me_ how to do that!"

A soda fountain caught Yoshi's eye, and he grinned. "I will if you beat me in a soda-drinking contest!"

The puffball immediately jumped to the challenge. "Whoever empties the most Super Large drinks is the winner!"

The two shook hands and blurted, "Deal!" Snatching up two Super Large cups and a Toad to act as referee, they rushed to the fountain.

* * *

**Smash-Mart Grocery Store, Top Floor **

Meanwhile, Mario and Mr. Game & Watch had filled up their cart, and were in line to buy their items. The plumber turned to Game & Watch, who had the list, and asked, "A-what are we missing?"

Scratching his head with a pencil, the 2-D Smasher examined their list and checked off their purchases. Finally he answered, "Beep beep bop boop boop beep blip beep. (We have all the items on our list.)"

"That's-a good!" said Mario with a grin. "A-now we hafta wait for a-Luigi and Young a-Link!"

On the other side of the store, the two Smashers in green were almost finished with their shopping as well. Luigi also double-checked their list out loud. "Let's a-see, we have toilet paper, duct a-tape, men's cologne (probably for a-Link…)…a-yes, that's everything on our a-list!"

Young Link leaned over the edge of the shopping cart and peered at the list. "Hey, what about _Lon Lon Milk?!"_

The green Mario Brother did a double-take, and his eyes widened in surprise; they didn't have any milk! He slapped his forehead and exclaimed, "Oh a-dear! I forgot about a-that! Sorry! Let's-a go get it!"

Young Link cheered as Luigi pushed the heavy cart in the direction of the dairy section (a rhyme!).

At that very moment, the intercom blared out, "Attention, stock workers! There is only _one more_ carton of Lon Lon Milk left in the dairy aisle! Please retrieve more from storage!"

The Hylian boy gasped in horror. "Oh no! Only _one more_, Luigi! Hurry!" He jumped up and down in the cart in panic, and Luigi struggled to get it moving.

Nearby, an old lady Koopa looked up from pushing her cart and checked her shopping list. Ironically, Lon Lon Milk was the final item…

Can anyone say "uh oh"?


	6. The Battle for the Lon Lon Milk

Chapter #6: The Battle for the Lon Lon Milk

**Grocery Store, Top Floor**

Luigi, with Young Link fidgeting in his shopping cart, careened around an aisle corner to the dairy section. While the green plumber got his second wind, the boy spotted a lone milk carton sitting in a store fridge display. Immediately he started hopping up and down in the cart.

"Luigi, there it is! The Lon Lon Milk!" he shouted, pointing eagerly. "It's still there! Hurry! Let's get it!"

But before Luigi even took his first step, the pair noticed an old lady Koopa standing on the other side of the section, staring intensely at the carton. She peered at a small paper one last time, nodded, and set it down, resuming her stare.

Young Link narrowed his eyes at her and muttered, "She isn't gonna get _my_ milk!" Luigi gulped, realizing that a fight is inevitable.

The lady charged forward, pushing her cart. Simultaneously Luigi shoved his forward as well, his feet pounding fiercely on the tiles. Young Link whooped and encouraged his partner on. The two carts smashed into each other right in front of the door to the milk and became a total wreck; store items and food went flying.

But right before the collision, Young Link jumped out and landed in front of the fridge door. But before he could reach for the handle, the old lady came up beside him with her cane. She raised it to beat him off, but he blocked the blow with his sword. The two weapons separated; boy and Koopa scowled at each other.

Young Link thrust his sword up and shouted, _"En guarde!"_ before rushing at his opponent.

Then sword and cane clashed again.

On the sidelines, Luigi picked up their shopping items and set them into a new, abandoned cart he found. Then he sat back and watched the show. As he did so, one thought crossed his mind.

"I didn't know Young Link knew French…"

* * *

**Sears, Top Floor**

"Whaddya mean you don't have them?!" roared Bowser. "You're supposed to have _everything_! You've got tools and instruments, so why don't you have what we want?!"

The group in Sears—Daisy, Zelda, the Ice Climbers, Bowser, and Ganondorf, if you recall—were standing in the tools section of the store. The evil Smashers failed to find what they wanted, and they were furious with the manager of that section. The poor Toad behind the customer service desk quivered in fear of the two as they ranted and raved.

"Oh, will you two leave him alone?" said Daisy, sympathetic to the little creature. When she saw Bowser readying his flame breath, she grabbed his tail and threw him into a wall.

"Whoa! How did you do that?!" exclaimed Popo.

"Mario taught me one day," the princess replied.

Growling and muttering, Bowser sat up and stomped away from the desk. "Fine. Let's go look somewhere else." Making his own grumbling, Ganondorf followed.

The Ice Climbers and the princesses raced to catch up, and when they did, Zelda asked, "What were you guys looking for, anyway? Tools? Band instruments?"

Ganondorf shrugged his shoulders. "Nah. We were looking for instruments of torture."

Zelda grimaced and slapped him. "You idiot! You thought they would have _that_ kind of stuff here?!" She and the other two girls continued to slap "the stupid boys" as they left the tool section.

* * *

**Grocery Store, Top Floor**

In an area not far from where Young Link and the old lady were fighting, Dr. Mario and Donkey Kong were in the pharmacy section getting some new medicines. The former kept finding new vitamins and delaying their trip to the produce aisle, where the latter wanted to go, for some reason. For the umpteenth time, the Italian doctor picked up a new box and read the label.

"Aha! A new flavor of-a children's Advil! Young a-Link would a-really like a-this! I'll buy all a-this medicine, and a-then we can a-go to the produce section, a-Donkey Kong. …Donkey Kong?"

But the ape was already gone. He had slunk away while Dr. Mario had been preoccupied with the Advil. His growling stomach couldn't wait any longer; he had to have his favorite breakfast…

* * *

**Food Court, Top Floor**

"Ohhh…you win."

"Heh heh…"

Yoshi and Kirby lay on one of the tables, exhausted from their drinking contest. Nearby the Toad referee sipped his soda pop; keeping the two eaters in line had been thirsty work. Thank heavens Yoshi had finally beat the puffball! It had seemed as if it would never end!

Kirby rubbed his aching stomach. "Ohh, so much fizz…! I think I need to go to the bathroom…" He carefully sat up, hopped off the table, and wobbled off in the direction of the restrooms. As he opened the door to the men's room, he spotted a strange figure he had never seen before. "Hey, who are y—"

_Whop!_

Kirby's vision flashed with Warp Stars, Star Rods, hot dogs, pizza, donuts, and soda drinks, and then all went black.

* * *

**Grocery Store, Top Floor**

Mario and Mr. Game & Watch were outside the grocery store, waiting for Young Link and Luigi.

"Beep bop boop boop blip bop? (What is taking them so long?)" the 2-D Smasher mumbled impatiently.

"Don't a-worry," said Mario, "they'll get back a-here." But deep down he wondered the same thing.

"Mario! Game & Watch!"

The duo turned around, and the plumber grinned. "Peach! A-we have a-half of the items you a-wrote down!"

The Princess brightened; count on Mario to get a job done when she needed it most! "Really? Oh, thank you Mario!" She pecked him on the cheek, and he blushed as red as his shirt. Then she asked, "Where are Luigi and Young Link?"

"I don't a-know; they should a-be back soon with the other a-things…"

* * *

**On the other side of the store…**

"The Lon Lon Milk is ours! We got to it first!" Young Link shouted as he fenced with the old lady.

"No! It ain't yers!" she screeched back. "Respect yer elders, youngun!"

"I want the milk! I haven't had breakfast yet! I'm starving!"

While the two and Luigi were preoccupied with the fight, they didn't notice a Goomba appear in the dairy aisle. It too spotted the last carton of Lon Lon Milk, and its eyes widened. It waited until Young Link and the old lady moved away from the door, and then made its move. The Goomba waddled up to the door (which was open), took out the milk carton with its mouth (it was on a low enough row for it to reach), and scampered back the way it had come. It was far down the aisle before Luigi spotted him.

"Ah!" he cried in shock. "Young a-Link! Look!"

The old lady Koopa, not just the Hylian boy, stopped their duel to see what he was panicking about. When they saw the Goomba rounding the corner with the milk carton in its jaws, they gaped, and then shouted in unison, "Stop that Goomba! He's got our milk!"

Young Link leaped into Luigi's new cart, and the old lady grabbed her wrecked one. With the green Mario Brother pushing the cart and the old lady racing neck-and-neck with them, they rushed off after the Goomba and its pilfered milk carton.

* * *

**Sporting Goods Store, Middle Floor**

Link, Marth, Roy, Fox, and Falco were walking to Smash-Mart's biggest sporting goods store. But before they made it to the door, they heard footsteps and someone shouting for them to wait up. They paused and turned around to see Captain Falcon, with Ness not far behind him. They both screeched to a stop in front of the group and panted with their hands on their knees.

"Thanks for waiting," the F-Zero Racer said.

"Speaking of waiting, Falcon, _why didn't you wait for __**me?!**_ Huh, huh? Why didn't you wait for me?!" complained Ness in his crazy, fast voice.

"'Cause you're a little idiot, that's why," Falco mumbled, earning a hard jab in his side from Fox.

Roy tapped his foot impatiently. "Okay, they caught up; _now_ let's go look inside. I want to see what kinds of swords they've got."

His partner rolled his eyes. "Relax, hothead, we're going."

They walked inside the store and looked around. The store had much more than most others they had been to would offer—hunting supplies, canoes and camping equipment, and all kinds of clothes for outdoor activities. They didn't know where to start!

"I wonder if this place will have any good blasters," Falco said.

Fox shrugged. "We can ask the manager."

"If there is one," Link commented. "I don't see anybody in here."

Something caught Ness's eye, and he squealed. "Wow, Captain Falcon! Look at those swords! Samurai swords and pirate cutlasses! I want a pirate sword!" Pulling Falcon's hand, he lead him to the display case holding the swords. "Get me a sword! Get me a sword!" he whined over and over, jumping up and down.

"Uhh…" Again the F-Zero Racer was at a loss.

Thankfully Marth came to the rescue by saying to the boy, "Those things are too sharp for you, Ness. You can't have one."

Ness scowled at him and started rolling on the floor and bawling. "_Waaah! _Not fair! _Waah!_ You guys get to have swords! _I_ want one!"

"You've gotta wait until you're grown up enough to use one, kid," Roy added. "Swords are dangerous if you don't know how to use 'em."

The boy stopped his temper tantrum, but his face turned even redder in anger. He got up, pulled out his trusty bat, and screamed, _"No!_ I don't wanna wait! I want it _**now!"**_

He took a hard swing at Marth, but the swordsman sidestepped the blow. The bat hit poor Captain Falcon instead, and he was sent flying out of the store down to the bottom floor with a terrible scream.

_Thud!_

"_Oof!"_ said two voices.

"Oh my gosh!" screamed the voice of a kid.

"Gosh!" another echoed.

"Daddy, are you okay?"

"Okay?"

Fox started toward the door with a look of concern on his face. "Uh oh. I think Falcon fell on someone. C'mon!"

"Let's just hope this guy doesn't sue like the last one," said Falco with a deep scowl.

The others followed his lead and raced out of the shop to find their fellow Smasher.


	7. Some New Friends

Chapter #7: Some New Friends

**Bottom Floor **

Fox, Falco, Ness, Marth, Roy, and Link rushed downstairs to the mall's bottom floor; a crowd was already gathering around the fallen Captain Falcon and the other victim. Ness squirmed through, ran to Falcon, and prodded him.

"Falcon! Falcon! Wake up! C'mon wake up, please, please, please?!" he pleaded. Then he paused. "Um, if you're dead, does that mean I can have your racecar?"

"Not on your life, twerp!" Roy declared, jumping through the spectators. "_I've_ got my driver's license!"

Link shoved them both away from the unconscious Smasher. "Oh, quit it, both of you! Falcon, you okay?"

Captain Falcon groaned, stirred, and carefully sat up. "Ohh, what happened?" he mumbled, rubbing his helmet.

"You fell down to the bottom floor," Marth answered, "but you landed on somebody."

Just then the "somebody" crawled out from under Falcon and sat up. He was a brown raccoon in a blue business suit. Two raccoon kits dressed in the same clothing hurried to him and helped him up. (A/N: You probably know who this is now, right?) With one final groan, he said, "Who fell on me?"

"That would be Captain Falcon here," Link said. "It was an accident."

"I understand. No hard feelings."

"Who are you?" Roy asked.

"My name is Tom Nook," the coon replied, giving a little bow. "I own some of the shops here. My sons Timmy and Tommy," he gestured to the twin kits, "help me out. I was just walking to my sporting goods store when you friend here landed on me."

Marth straightened up, his eyebrows rising. "Wait, you own the sports store on the middle floor?"

"Yes, that's mine."

"We were just in there. Could you show us around?"

"I'd be delighted!"

Since it looked like neither Captain Falcon nor Tom Nook were seriously hurt, the group walked together toward the escalators that would take them back up to the middle floor. But for some reason, Fox didn't follow. Falco, who brought up the rear, ran back to get him. But then he noticed that Fox was twitching strangely.

"Uh, Fox, why are you all, uh…twitchy like that?"

"Heh, heh heh…_twitchy?!" _panted Fox in a high-pitched voice, foaming at the mouth a bit. "Who's twitchy? I'm not twitchy!"

"Okaaay…well, just come with us, and I'll see if I can find Dr. Mario along the way." Nervously Falco grabbed his teammate's hand and dragged him off after their friends.

* * *

**Grocery Store, Top Floor**

"Go left! Now right!"

Luigi veered around a pyramid of soup cans and tore down another aisle, pushing the shopping cart at top speed. Young Link leaned dangerously over the edge of the cart, yelling out directions as they pursued the Goomba that had stolen the Lon Lon Milk. The old lady Koopa was right on the green plumber's heels, her high heels clacking rapidly on the floor.

They rounded a corner, and the boy let out a triumphant yell. _"Aha!_ _There_ he is!"

The Goomba had stopped to pick up some toothpaste. But, hearing the pounding feet and squeaking carts, he looked up and saw the three shoppers barreling towards him. With a terrified shriek (muffled by the milk carton in his mouth), he waddled away as fast as he could.

"He's, huff huff, fast for a, huff, a Goomba," Luigi panted in frustration.

"Come on, Luigi! Faster!" Young Link cried. "We can't let him get away with my milk!"

"Okay, okay! Whoo! What I a-wouldn't, huff huff, give for my Mario Kart, huff, right a-now! Mumma mia!" he groaned.

The Goomba ran into a wide aisle, and the old lady immediately took advantage of the extra space; she rushed out from behind Luigi and Young Link and attempted to pass them. But Young Link, getting competitive, leaned the cart into hers. Luigi also moved closer to one of the aisles, which put the Koopa in a tight spot, preventing her from taking the lead. A wheel popped off of her wrecked cart, and she slowed behind the Smasher duo.

Suddenly they heard a shriek and crashing sounds ahead of them; something had just happened to the Goomba. They surged forward faster, and only when they rounded the bend did they realize their mistake in doing so.

They had reached the produce aisle, and hundreds of banana peels littered the floor. Both the old lady and Luigi frantically dug into the tile floor with their heels to stop their carts, but there was no friction, and they had too much momentum to stop.

"Oh a-dear!"

"Whoooaaaa!"

"_Aiiyeeeeeee!!!"_

_Crash!!!_

Bananas and fruit insides flew everywhere. Luigi and Young Link landed in the watermelon bin, splashing their green outfits with pink; the old lady fell into the apple bin with the Goomba. Groaning, the two Smashers climbed out of the bin, only to slip on more banana peels. As he rubbed his bottom, Young Link spotted Donkey Kong sitting behind the banana bin, munching contentedly on his favorite food.

The ape noticed his friends and, grinning, held up a peeled banana. "Ook eek! Ack ook eek eek eek! Ook ack ook ook ook! (Hey guys! Try these bananas! They taste heavenly!)"

Young Link's face turned red, and he stomped both feet and screamed, _"DK! Look what you did! You made a mess!_ And now we've lost the last carton of Lon Lon Milk!"

"You mean a-this?" said a voice.

The Hylian boy whirled around and gaped in surprise. Dr. Mario stood there grinning. He had a basket of bought items under one arm; but in his other hand…was the milk carton!

"Dr. Mario! You've got the milk!"

Young Link leaped up and snatched the carton out of the doctor's hands. "_Yes! _Look, Luigi, we got it! Whoohoo!" He danced in circles, holding the milk up in victory.

Upon seeing the milk, the green plumber did an exhausted anime-fall back into the watermelons. "Mumma mia. Remind a-me to never go a-shopping with you again…"

* * *

**Food Court, Top Floor**

"I wonder what's taking Kirby so long," Yoshi mumbled as he finished his 20th hot dog. He turned to the Toad that had been the referee for the drinking contest. "What do you think?"

The Toad shrugged. "I don't know. Want me to go find him?"

"Sure! Tell him that I wanna have a popcorn-eating contest next!"

Groaning inwardly, the Toad trotted off to the men's room. As he pushed open the door, he called out, "Kirby! Yoshi wants to have a popcorn eating conte—"

_Whop!!!_

The stalker in the men's room had struck again…

While Yoshi waited for the Toad and Kirby to return, he munched on yet another hot dog. After he wolfed down the last bite, he belched loudly. Whistling at the loudness of the burp, he searched for another snack. His gaze fell on a slice of pepperoni pizza; licking his lips, he reached for it…

…Only to be stopped by a hand—a blue hand. Blinking in confusion, Yoshi looked up and gasped. Then he glares at the newcomer with rage.

"_**You…"

* * *

**_

**Sears, Top Floor**

The girls, Popo, Ganondorf, and Bowser had moved on to the appliance section, and were observing washer/dryer machines. Zelda appeared to have found a great deal on one machine.

"Wow! 50 percent off! I wonder if this is for everything in the store!"

"Daisy!" Bowser growled. "That little blue midget keeps getting into the dryers!"

Daisy groaned and hurried over to the nearest dryer. A peek through the glass window reveals Popo spinning around inside with a crazy grin on his face. _"Wheeeeee!" _he screamed over and over in delight.

Rolling her eyes, the auburn-haired princess shut off the machine, yanked open the door to the dryer, and pulled out the boy Ice Climber. "Cut that out! You'll get yourself killed!" she scolded him.

Ganondorf, who was over by the refrigerators, called out, "Zelda! Nana got in that fridge again!"

"These two are nuthin' but trouble!" roared Bowser.

The Hylian princess walked over to a huge fridge and opened it. Nana sat inside with a happy smile. "Zelda! You've got to get this fridge! It's as cold as Icicle Mountain!"

Sighing, Zelda took her by the hand and lead her out of the fridge. "I would if I could, Nana, but it's pretty expensive. I'll talk to Peach about it; she's the one with all the money."

"_Hit the deck!"_

Heeding the unknown voice, the Smashers threw themselves to the ground. And just in time—a missile whizzed over their heads and crashed into a display. The girls' eyes grew round, and the Ice Climbers shrieked in terror.

"What's going on?!" Bowser yelled.

Suddenly a foot connected with the top of his skull, pile-driving his face into the carpet. Before anyone could react, the dark figure had jumped off him and over into another aisle.

"Hey! That looked like Samus!" Daisy said. "Did she change her suit?"

Bowser spat out a chunk of carpet and snarled, "If it was, I'm gonna tear her apart! _Nobody_ uses the King of the Koopas as a stepping stone!"

The human in a purplish-black space suit leaped back into their aisle, aiming her arm-mounted plasma cannon. "I'm not the Samus you know," she answered, her voice dripping with evil. "I am _Dark _Samus!"

A second missile appeared out of nowhere and blew up a fridge next to Dark Samus; the shockwave sent her flying out of sight. The real Samus bounded over a dryer up to her comrades. "Are you guys alright?"

Daisy jumped to her feet. "Samus! Where have you been?! You weren't at home this morning!"

"Master Hand needed me to go after Dark Samus and bring her back to him," the space heroine replied, and then shook her head in puzzlement. "I have no idea how she got here, and Master Hand wouldn't give me details. Anyway, I'll join you when I've got her." Without another word to the group, she darted after Dark Samus.

When she was gone, the Smashers looked at one another with confused frowns. "That was weird," muttered Ganondorf.

"How _could_ Dark Samus have gotten here?" Daisy wondered.

Zelda rubbed her chin, and then straightened her hair. "The best solution I can think of is that Master Hand might have reopened the world portal, and she sneaked through somehow. Whatever it is, I think Samus can handle it. Let's go look somewhere else."

The group of Smashers climbed to their feet and began the walk out of the appliances section. But every once in a while, one of them would hear blaster and missile fire from behind, and glanced uneasily back toward where Samus Aran was in hot pursuit of her doppelganger…


	8. Watchers in the Shadows

Chapter #8: Watchers in the Shadows

**Grocery Store, Top Floor**

"Finally," Luigi sighed in relief, parking his battered shopping cart beside a cash register. "We a-did it. Who knew grocery a-shopping could a-be so hard?" Behind him, Dr. Mario chuckled.

The moment the carton of Lon Lon Milk rung up, Young Link snatched it from the bag and kept up his victory dance. Then he spotted Mario, Mr. Game & Watch, and Peach waiting for them at the exit to the store. Grinning, he ran up to meet them, waving his prize high in the air.

"Hey, guys! We got the last carton of Lon Lon Milk! Yeehaaah!"

Mario and Peach got a laugh out of his antics, but Game & Watch shifted on his feet and complained, "Beep bop beep boop blip bop?! (What took you guys so long?!)".

The boy only blinked at him, question marks written all over his face. Like a lot of the Smashers, he couldn't understand the 8-bit language.

Lucky for him, Peach did. "He wants to know what took you so long."

Luigi came over with the shopping cart, scratching the back of his neck. "A-well, there was a bit of a squabble over the a-last carton of a-milk."

"Yeah!" Young Link piped up. "I had to beat an old lady with her stick just to get her away from _my_ milk!"

"You're exaggerating, Young a-Link."

"Whatever. Anyway, then this dirty Goomba stole it, so Luigi ran him down with our cart, and—"

"Did a-not!"

"Who's telling the story, you or me?"

Before the green Mario Brother could shoot back a reply, a different voice yelled, "Dr. Mario! Yo, Doc!" Falco burst into the store and stumbled toward the third Italian, who had checked out also. He screeched to a halt in front of him, put his hands on his knees, and sucked in his breath. "Man, I thought I'd never find you!" he panted.

"A-what is it, a-Falco?" Dr. Mario asked with a tilt of his head.

"Fox is acting really weird, and I need you to figure out what's wrong with him. I brought him here for a check—hey! Where'd he go?!" Lombardi had thought that Fox was with him, but apparently, he had disappeared. "Fox!" he groaned.

"Just a-tell me what's a-wrong," the Italian doctor suggested, handing his bag of items to Mr. Game & Watch.

"Uhh, okay. We met this raccoon named Tom Nook, and Fox got all twitchy and started foaming at the mouth a little bit. He had this freaky look in his eyes…"

Instantly the doctor's face shifted into a concerned frown. "A raccoon named Nook, you a-say? Well, I a-think we should go a-find this Nook."

"Why him?"

"Because, if my a-theory about Fox's behavior is a-correct, then he won't a-be very far from a-Nook…" He turned to the others. "Urgent a-business with a-Fox. I'll a-catch up with you a-later. Would you a-mind keeping my items for me?" Then, with Falco following, he ran for the nearest escalator.

"I wonder why Fox is acting weird. It's not like him," commented Peach. "I hope he'll be okay…"

"Don't a-worry," Mario assured her. "My a-cousin will a-take good care of a-him."

Young Link started. "I didn't know he's your cousin!"

"Neither did I!" exclaimed Luigi. "And I'm his other a-cousin!"

"He's our fifth a-cousin five times a-removed," the red plumber explained to them. "I didn't a-know either for a while."

(A/N: I know Dr. Mario is supposed to be the same person as the normal Mario. But I had to explain how they can both exist in the same game.)

Peach looked at the bags of grocery items in the carts. "Well, we won't worry about them right now. We should take all this to the bus."

The Mario Brothers took control of one shopping cart each, and together the group left the grocery store.

---

**Meanwhile…**

The old Koopa watched as the Hylian boy and his green plumber friend walked away with their companions…and _her _carton of milk!

"That little whippersnapper," she grumbled to herself. "I got to it first! It's mine!"

Nearby, the Goomba who had taken the milk in the first place stared after Young Link and Luigi with mutual thoughts. "Those thieves! I must get that milk back before they leave the store!"

Donkey Kong sat in a shopping cart by the other two, and he mumbled hungrily, "Ook, ack eek ook ook… (Man, I'm still hungry…)"

And in an isolated corner of the store, hidden from the trio's sight, was a cloaked figure, and he too watched the Smashers walking away from the store, but in cold, angry silence…

* * *

**Food Court, Top Floor**

Yoshi glared daggers at the blue dinosaur that had come between him and his slice of pizza. And not just because of that; he knew this Yoshi well, all too well…

The blue Yoshi, which was slightly fatter than our Yoshi (even though the green one ate more than him), smirked and shoved his sporty shades a bit further up his snout. Then he drawled, "Well, well, well, if it ain't my ole' buddy Yoshi! What's up, man?"

"_Boshi!" _Yoshi hissed back.

"Oh, still carryin' that rivalry thing? Well, I can do that too, if ya want." Boshi leaned closer to Yoshi's face with a smug grin. "How's 'bout a 'friendly' pizza-eating contest?"

"You're on!"

* * *

**Sears, Top Floor**

"Wow, Daisy, check out these carpets! Some of them are so soft!" exclaimed Zelda as the Sears gang checked out the home furnishings.

"And these curtains!" The Seresa Land Princess sighed. "Oh, how I wish we could buy some of everything! I've really wanted to redecorate Smash Mansion…"

Both Ganondorf and Bowser, who had been looking for some new beds, froze, their eyes widening to the size of saucers. _"No!_ No decorating!" they both shouted while waving their hands at Daisy.

"Yeah!" Popo piped up. "Remember the _last_ time we let her decorate Smash Mansion, Zelda?"

The Hylian princess groaned and covered her face; that redecorating disaster was yet another horrible experience in the history of the Super Smash Brothers…

---

**Flashback**

All of the Smashers were gathered on the front lawn of Smash Mansion, staring in horror at the job that Daisy had done on the place. Many groaned and covering their eyes. The Ice Climbers, Yoshi, Kirby, and Ness could be heard puking in the bushes nearby.

"Ugh! It's…it's horrible!" Link groaned, and he turned away from the sight of their ruined home.

"Gross! Blech!" agreed the younger version of him, making a face.

"It's disgusting!" Falco spat.

The entire mansion was bathed in pink, yellow, and baby blue paint, with matching furniture, carpets, curtains, and walls inside.

Mario and Luigi were totally stunned, especially the green plumber. "Daisy, I…I don't a-know how to…a-say it…" Luigi stammered; his brother pulled his hat over his eyes to avoid looking at the house.

Daisy already had tears in her eyes. "I know; it's terrible! I'm so sorry, guys! I didn't mean to overload on all the bright colors, but it…it just got out of control!"

"You got that right," growled Bowser. "There's enough happy, bright stuff to burn our eyes out!"

When Master Hand found out how much money Daisy had spent on the big project, he forced her to sell back what she could to get back the borrowed money, and made the other Smashers repaint both the outside and the inside of the dorm complex. It took them months to get the entire job done.

**End Flashback**

---

"I don't wanna go through that again, Daisy, so don't even think about it," Zelda said firmly. The other princess sighed but didn't object.

Bowser grunted and folded his huge arms. "I like the way it is anyhow."

Daisy wrinkled her nose in disgust. "You evil Smashers and your dusty, dark lairs! You guys are the main reason I want a makeover for the whole place!"

"What?! Are you callin' our rooms ugly?!" Ganondorf snapped angrily.

"Duh! You two never clean up, and it smells!"

As Daisy and the two evil Smashers argued over dorm sanitation, Zelda noticed Samus running up to them. "Hey, Samus! Did you catch your evil twin yet?"

"Sadly, no," Aran replied with a sigh and a shake of her head. "I lost her in this store; I came to warn you and watch over you guys."

"Whatever for?"

"She might take hostages to guarantee her escape from Master Hand, and she knows you're here in Sears."

"That's true. I'll keep my eyes peeled for her."

At that same moment, hidden behind some curtains, another dark figure watched the gang, studying its target…

* * *

**Nook's Sporting Goods Store, Middle Floor **

Inside the sporting goods store, Tom Nook and his twin boys showed off their merchandise to the Smashers.

"This is our best bow, Link," he told the Hylian as he handed him the bow and a quiver of arrows. "It's lightweight, and it still has a good aim and swift speed."

"Sounds like my kinda weapon!" Link said with a grin. "Mind if I give it a test?"

"Go right ahead! …Err, but what is your target?"

Without answering, the warrior suddenly whirled around and let an arrow fly from the bow. It zinged through the air right past Captain Falcon's ear and into a foam bull's-eye hanging on the wall, hitting it dead-center. Ness and the Nooklings clapped their hands excitedly for the amazing shot, while Falcon held his ringing ear, glaring a bit at Link.

Grinning even more, Link dug into his pockets for his wallet. "How much is it, Nookster?"

"1,000 Bells," Nook replied, and then slapped himself. "Sorry about that. I have a hard time remembering that I'm not in Animal Crossing anymore. It's 130 Smash Coins."

"Heh heh, I know what you mean. I got mixed up with Rupees and coins all the time. I've got just enough!" Link handed the raccoon a pouch containing the proper amount of coins, and then rushed off to try his new bow on some more targets.

Ness quickly became jealous. "Hey Nook, can I have a bow like Link's? Huh, huh? Can I have one like Link's? Or a pirate sword? Captain Falcon and the other guys won't let me have a sword, but I want one reeeeeeeaaaal bad, and—"

"Take it easy, young human!" Nook cried with his hands (scratch that, _paws_) in the air. "I do carry some smaller bows with softer points for kids like yourself. Timmy and Tommy, could you get Ness one junior bow-and-arrow set?"

"Yes sir!" Timmy responds with a salute, his twin echoing with, "Sir!"

"Ohboyohboyohboyohboyohboy…" the boy whispered to himself as the twin coons led him to the shelf where they kept the miniature bows.

In the back of the store, Marth and Roy fenced with each other with their swords in the special testing room that Nook had. Though it was all for practice, they weren't pulling their punches; both were already panting and sweating from the effort. Neither one was winning or losing, and they were waiting for the other to call a draw. But then Link stopped testing his new bow to watch and cheer both of them on.

"Roy is weak on his right side, Marth! Get 'im! C'mon, Roy, put your guard on! He's closing in on you! Try swiping at his feet! That's it!"

"Thanks for the tips, Coach Link," Marth shot back at their spectator. "Whose side are you on, anyway?"

"Neither, just lending a helping hand."

The blue-haired swordsman grunted and returned his focus to the fight, waiting for a chance to break past Roy's fresh defense. Since they didn't tell him to stop, Link continued to coach the dueling duo.

"Here are some tips, Marth! Try faking to the left or right and swiping at his side! Yeah, like that! Move faster and rush him! You've got it! Now try to charge and then fake to the—_**yeeeeeoooowwww!!!!"**_

Screaming in pain, the Hylian leaped so high in the air that he landed in the arena with Marth and Roy. The two immediately stopped their mock-duel and helped him to his feet. But when Marth checked him over, he busted out laughing and fell to the ground, clutching his sides.

"_There's an arrow in your butt! I don't believe it!"_ he gasped. "How's _that_ for irony?! Heeheehahahahahahahaaa!"

Roy stared at his comrade in bewilderment. "Usually _I'm_ the one cracking all the jokes. What's up with him?"

"In a word, revenge," Link growled, glaring at the hysterical Marth. "Who'd he pay off to shoot me?" He reached back and yanked the offending arrow out of his rear end; to Roy's surprise, he hardly flinched. Then he spied Captain Falcon and Ness standing close to the room—both were holding loaded bows. The Hylian's scowl immediately deepened. "All right!" he yelled furiously. "Which one of you two fired that arrow into my butt?!"

With wide eyes, Ness pointed at Falcon; the F-Zero Racer stared at the boy with shock. Roy could easily tell that Ness was the culprit, but Link didn't notice.

"_Falcooooonn!!" _he screamed, his face turned bright red. "You're _dead_, ya hear me?! D-e-a-d, _**dead!!!"**_ He pulled out his sword and storms toward Captain Falcon, preparing for murder.

The two swordsmen (Marth had calmed down) jumped in Link's way and grabbed him by the arms. "Hold it, Link! Don't you think you should beat him the Hylian way—in a duel?" Marth said calmly.

"Wha…but I didn't…!" stammered Falcon.

Link, however, quickly warmed up to the idea. With an evil look in his eyes, he replied, "That sounds perfect, Marth—a Hylian duel it is! Meet me here in the ring in ten minutes, Falcon!" With that he walked off to search for a whetstone to sharpen his sword with.

Falcon shuddered and mumbled to himself, on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Even he knew that nobody had ever beaten Link in a Hylian duel! Whimpering, he trudged off to select a weapon.

As the two duelists went to look for their weapons, Roy glared at Ness and scolded him. "Now look what you did, Ness! You got Falcon in trouble for something _you_ did!"

But Ness paid no attention, too excited by the duel. "Ooooooh, cool! Link and Falcon are gonna duel! I've gotta gotta _gotta _see this! Hey, maybe _I_ could duel! I wanna duel too! Can I, can I, can I?!" Without waiting for an answer, he ran off to practice with his archery set.

The redhead swordsman slapped his forehead. "What'll we do with that little chatterbox?" He heard snickering, and glanced over at his partner. "Marth, you didn't really bribe Ness to…?"

The blue-haired swordsman grinned. "Hey, I wasn't going to let Link get away with that earlier stunt. I've never been so humiliated. Besides, Ness wouldn't stop bugging me about the yo-yo I took from him."

"The one he used to tie you up in that Team Melee?"

"Yeah, that one. If that wasn't bad enough, that monkey-brain DK threw a barrel into the river—with _me_ tied to it!"

"But did you have to frame Falcon?"

"Hey, that wasn't my doing! But," he grinned again, "I guess I'm getting him back for when he ran into me during that Mute City Melee."

"…Ever consider applying for 'villain Smasher' status, Marth?"

Marth laughed. "More than once." Roy gave him a shocked look. "Just kidding."

"Did I hear something about a duel?" Tom Nook came out of nowhere, looking at the two swordsmen questioningly. Marth explained to him what had happened (leaving out his role in it), and the storekeeper also shook his head. "Oh dear; well, I guess there's no stopping your friend, so all I can do is let them use my supplies and play referee with the rest of you. Let's set up the arena, shall we?"

While the raccoon and the Smashers set up the ring for the upcoming duel, Timmy and Tommy managed the rest of the store for their dad. But as they were taking inventory of their stock, they discovered that someone had smashed open a glass case and stolen a pair of blasters…

* * *

Author's Note:

Okay, I know some of you are thinking in your heads "What in the world are Tom Nook, Dark Samus, and Boshi (who's Boshi?) doing in here?" Well, back when Brawl was in development, I heard speculation that those characters might appear in the game as players. So I ended up putting them in the story. Of course, we all know that those were just rumors. But let me set the record straight: Boshi definitely isn't in Brawl at all, Dark Samus is a _trophy_, and you _do _get to see Tom Nook on the Animal Crossing stage, Smashville. They just aren't playable.


	9. Duels Galore!

Chapter #9: Duels Galore!

**Food Court, Top Floor**

"Is that really the best you can do, Yoshi?" Boshi taunts through a huge bite of pepperoni pizza. "This is my fifth pizza pie! And you're just startin' your fourth! Whatsa matter, too much food for ya?"

Yoshi shot a glare at his rival as he chewed on his pizza slice, but inside he is grinning. Boshi was falling for the biggest trick in the book of eating contests! …If there was one, that is. After he had swallowed the last piece of his slice, he shoved a whole one into his mouth and chewed like there was no tomorrow.

Let Boshi think he's winning; soon he'll realize his mistake and then it'll be too late, and then he, Yoshi—the unbeatable eating-contest champion—would show that hothead once and for all!

* * *

**Sears, Top Floor**

The princesses, the Ice Climbers, Samus, Bowser, and Ganondorf were now in the lawn care section of Sears, observing the lawn mowers. Zelda and Daisy tried to pick a new riding mower for Smash Mansion, (since Bowser had stomped their old lawn mower flat after trying to start it one other weekend).

"Too bad there isn't a sale in this area," said Daisy with a sigh. "These things don't come cheap."

"And there are so many models and brands!" Zelda commented.

"Let's just pick one and scram!" Bowser barked in impatience. "I'm gettin' bored of this place."

Suddenly they heard an engine revving, and one mower whizzed past them at its top speed—with Popo and Nana in the driver's seat! Popo, the driver, was whooping happily at the top of his lungs, but Nana was squealing in fright.

"Stop that mower!" Samus shouted, and she, Daisy, and Zelda gave chase after the runaway mower. Bowser and Ganondorf hesitated before joining the pursuit.

* * *

**Sporting Goods Store, Middle Floor**

The match between Link and Captain Falcon was about to begin. The Hylian and the F-Zero Racer stood in opposite corners outside the dueling arena. They each had two helpers with them—one to stand on the two unoccupied corners with a radio (you'll find out why soon), and the other to supply the duelists with a towel and water. Link had Marth and Timmy Nookling, and Falcon had Roy and Tommy Nookling. Tom Nook and Ness (who remained silent, thank goodness) were the referees for the match. Each group had five minutes to plan their strategy, and then Tom called them to the ring.

"Okay, duelists, let me lay out the rules of this fight," announced the shopkeeper. "There will be no punching, kicking, or tripping each other during this match. In fact, you two cannot touch one other, and violation will end with forfeit of the duel."

"Huh? We can't touch each other?" sputtered Falcon. "But we're fighting with weapons…right?"

"Wrong, my friend," Tom replied. "Link informed me that the Hylian duel you are competing in is not a sword-fight, but rather a dance-off!"

"Dance-off? What's a dance-off?"

Roy slapped his forehead. "You don't know what it is? Okay, you moron, let me explain. It's simple: you just have to dance better than Link. Got it?"

"Uhh, yeah, but I can't dance. The only dances I know are…"

"Duelists, please enter the ring and begin the challenge!" Nook exclaimed over a microphone in a dramatic manner.

Link leaped over the rope into the ring with a grin. As soon as Captain Falcon also entered and Tom gave him the first turn, he nodded toward Timmy, who had his radio. The raccoon kit turned it on, and techno music played. The Hylian tapped his foot with the rhythm of the song for a few seconds, and then he began to break-dance. As the song went on, he threw in some impressive flips, spins, and dance steps to wow his audience. After "movin' it like a U-Haul", as some DJ's would say, he finished his stunning performance with a fast spin on the floor. He bowed to his small audience, which showered him with applause.

"Absolutely astounding!" Tom Nook said with wide eyes. "That deserves a 10!"

Link took a swig from his water bottle, and then he said, "Your turn, Falcon…Falcon?" But the racer isn't in his corner. "Where'd he go? Did he chicken out?"

A voice in the shadows of the arena called out, "Not really. I'm just getting ready."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Get up here."

"But this suit makes me itchy, and I look so stupid," Falcon whined.

"Suit? Why do you need a suit?" Marth asked.

"I dance better with it on, and Nook said creativity gets extra credit."

Rolling his eyes, Link retorted firmly, "Stop whining and get up here, Falcon. Don't make me come and get you myself."

"Fine, fine! Tommy, could you start the song?"

From another corner, Tommy pressed the play button, and a rock guitar blared. The song reached a suspenseful climax, and then the radio played the ever-famous song…

…"The Chicken Dance"?

In perfect timing, Captain Falcon leaped out into the arena wearing a chicken costume and did the dance motions in rhythm to the corny music. However, only Tom Nook saw how perfect his performance was; the others were rolling on the ground, howling with laughter and clutching their aching sides. Poor Falcon finished up the comical dance with a bow, but the weight of the costume caused him to fall flat on his face—err, that is, the chicken's beak.

The music finally ended, and a single pair of hands clapped slowly—Tom Nook's hands. "Well done, Falcon. A strange choice of music, but well done all the same. I think you tied Link."

_That_ got Link's attention. "What?! He's tied with me?! But…"

"I'm the judge, you know, and my opinion chooses the winner," Nook reasoned carefully. "Even though he did 'The Chicken Dance', which pales in comparison to your song, he did it flawlessly. And the suit _does _give him extra credit. That's my final decision. Now, take five minutes to prepare for the second round."

Link sulked back to his corner, plotting a dance that would trump Falcon and his stupid chicken routine. Letting out his breath in a relieved whoosh, Falcon hurried back to his corner to take off the chicken costume. The duelists' assistants helped them prepare for Round Two, which promised to be even wackier than the first…

And the whole time the duel went on, a shadowy figure watched, waiting for his chance to attack…

* * *

**Middle Floor of Smash-Mart**

Dr. Mario and Falco fidgeted impatiently as they rode an extremely slow escalator down to the Middle Floor, where the Star Fox member had last seen his partner. But they were in for a distraction first; as reached the end of their ride, they heard voices.

"Hey, Samus!"

"I'm not Samus! I'm _Dark _Samus!"

"…Hi, Samus!"

"I told you! I'm _not _Samus!"

"…What's up, Samus!"

"_I'm not Samus!"_

"…Are you Samus now?"

"_Arrrrrrrgggghhhh!!!"_

The pair rounded the corner and saw a dark version of Samus standing next to…well, take three guesses.

Ness? Nope, guess again.

Yoshi? Nope, guess again.

_Popo?_ Wrong!

_It was __**Kirby!**_

"Are you sure you're not Samus? You sure look like her to me," the puffball said, scratching the side of his head.

Dark Samus' gun arm shook as she fought the impulse to vaporize Kirby. "Easy, Dark Samus, he's not worth your time…"

Kirby heard someone call out, and he turned to see Dr. Mario and Falco running their way. "Hey, guys! I found Samus, but she thinks she's some kinda Dark Samus! She must be going crazy or somethin'!"

"Kirby, that _is _Dark Samus! Get away from her!" Falco yelled at him.

The puzzled puffball whirled around to see the barrel of the evil Samus' arm-mounted cannon inches from his face. He shrieked "Yipes!", and moved out of the way just before the gun blasted a crater where he had been standing.

"Hold still, you little freak! This won't hurt a bit, I promise!" Dark Samus shouted. Warming up her cannon for another shot, she chased after Dr. Mario, Falco, and Kirby, who ran for their lives toward the nearest cover, a bookstore.

* * *

**Parking Lot of Smash-Mart**

Out in the quiet, tranquil parking lot, Mr. Game & Watch, the Mario Brothers, Peach, and Young Link stared glumly at their wrecked bus. They had been so busy finding groceries that even Peach had forgotten about their lack of transportation. The bus is totaled, that much is obvious. So how were they going to get themselves and their groceries back to Smash Mansion?

Game & Watch glanced at the crowds of other vehicles in the parking lot, and mumbled, "Beep-beep blip bop bloop bweep bop beep…"

Peach gaped at the 2-D Smasher in shock. "_What?!_ Steal a car?! Game & Watch, that's wrong! We can't do that!"

"She's a-right," Mario agreed. "This isn't a-_Grand Theft Auto_."

Suddenly, out of a tree standing close to them, the old lady and the Goomba fell in front of them.

"Aha! We've gotcha now, young whippersnapper!" said the old Koopa.

"You a-guys!" Luigi yelped.

"That's right, punk!" the Goomba snarled at him. "We've come to get our milk back!"

Young Link's eyes widened, and he snatched the milk carton out of one of the shopping carts, clutching it tightly. "We got it fair and square! Get your own!"

Peach tried to reason with the two angry shoppers. "I'm sorry that the store ran out, but we can't help that. This is our milk, so you'll just have to get your o—"

The princess was cut off as the old lady (who turned out to be the same old lady she had almost run over in the trip to Smash-Mart) unexpectedly picked her up and threw her into the bed of a nearby pickup. Mario rushed to her side and checked to see if she was hurt; finding no serious injuries, he turned back to the intruding pair with a deep frown and cracked his knuckles.

"You've a-gone too a-far," he said seriously. "If you a-want your milk, then you've-a got to fight a-for it!"

"Oh a-no, here we a-go again…" moaned Luigi.

Young Link drew his sword and, with another cry of _"En guarde!",_ darted for the old lady, who had also drawn her cane. The Mario Brothers moved toward the short Goomba with grins; they knew they could take him easily. But suddenly the ground rumbled as a jeep and an attached trailer full of Goombas screeched onto the scene.

"I called a few friends," the Goomba snickered.

Mario and Luigi looked at each other and gulped. Then, the Goomba army swarmed out to attack them like an angry hive of hornets; with yelps of fright, the brothers turned tail and ran. They found cover in the tree that their two opponents jumped out of, and jumped into branches too high for the Goombas to reach.

And as all this was happening, Peach, forgotten in the chaos, managed to scramble out of the pickup. The sight of her friends getting themselves into another fight made her sigh. "Boys…" Taking an empty shopping cart, she went back toward Smash-Mart to look for other things.

Another Smasher the old lady and the Goombas had missed was Mr. Game & Watch. He decided to take advantage of being missed and loaded the Smashers' groceries into the Goombas' jeep and trailer. When he finished, he jumped into the driver's seat and drove away from the parking lot, honking the horn and beeping hysterically like a madman.


	10. A New Band of Brawlers

Author's Note:

Okay, folks, this is where I start introducing the Brawl Smashers! There's no real specific order, except that I'm saving the secret, unlockable characters for later so those of you who haven't found them yet don't get the reading experience spoiled for you. (Then again, it's been years since Brawl came out; you've probably beaten it. Oh well.)

* * *

Chapter #10: A New Band of Brawlers

**Food Court, Top Floor**

Donkey Kong was walking past the Food Court when he heard loud shouting…in gibberish? Scratching his head, he entered the court and Yoshi and Boshi sitting in their chairs, their bellies full of pizza. Pizza boxes were stacked beside them, and Yoshi's stack was taller than his rival's. Because of this, Boshi yelled angrily at his opponent, who simply folded his arms and smirked at him silently.

"Ook ack ook, ook eek ack? (Hey Yoshi, what happened?)" the curious ape asked.

"Oh hey, DK," Yoshi greeted him casually, and then stifled a burp. "I just beat Boshi here in a pizza-eating contest."

"Eek! Ack ook! (Oh! Good job!)" He looked at the screaming dinosaur and tilted his head. "Ack ook ook eek? (What's he saying?)"

"It's the Yoshi language." Boshi hurled a few more insults, and Yoshi's cheeks turned red. "You don't wanna know what it means."

"Ook… (Oh…)" DK he turned to Boshi and scowled. "Eek ack ook? (Are you done?)"

The blue dino stopped in mid-sentence and stared at the hulking gorilla, losing his voice.

"Eek, ack ook eek ook ack ack ook eek."

"Uhh…what did he say, dude?" Boshi asked his rival.

Yoshi's eyebrows rose. "He wants to challenge us!"

"Huh? In what?"

DK answered confidently, "Ack eek eek eek ook ook ack ook!"

"A banana-eating contest!" Yoshi jumped up from his seat (nearly toppling over because of his full belly). "I'm in!"

Boshi also got up, but took a bit longer to do so. "So am I!" he said, not about to back down from a challenge.

The two Yoshis waddled as fast as they could over to the counter to find the stash of bananas; Donkey Kong sat on a table, barely able to hide a grin of rare cunning. Those two gluttons had no idea what they were getting into…

* * *

**Parking Lot of Smash-Mart**

"Oh a-dear. This could-a be a problem," Mario said with a gulp.

He and his brother were clinging tightly to the tree in the parking lot. Below them, the swarm of Goombas taunted the two plumbers; sometimes one took a big leap and snapped at them, missing by only a couple inches. However, after a few minutes of this, they stopped and began to grumble loudly.

"I thought this would be easy, Boss!" one said.

The Goomba leader (the one Young Link and Luigi had met in the grocery store) growled, "Me too. I spent all morning tracking these two, and now I can't even get a bite in! That creep that got us to do this should've paid us more!"

Young Link, much to his embarrassment, got backed against the tree by the old Koopa; after dealing a blow that made her cane vibrate, he scrambled into the tree to join the Mario Bros. He managed to catch the boss Goomba's comment and stared at him. "Huh? Somebody's paying you to maul us?!"

"Not me!" objected the old lady. "I'm only in it for the milk!"

At that, the Hylian boy clutched the milk carton to his chest and rubbed it, hissing, "My Precious…" This earned curious stares from his comrades in the tree.

Luigi picked up where Young Link left off. "Who is a-paying you to bug us? And a-why?"

"Th-that's none of your business!" stammered the leader, realizing that he has said too much. Then, to the old lady, "Can you climb up the tree and finish 'em off?"

In reply she whacked him over the head with her cane. "Of course not, you ninny! I'd break my back!"

Suddenly one of the Goombas screeched and popped into the air, and all who were watching noticed the arrow stuck in his back. Without warning a black dot in the sky dropped into the middle of the Goomba swarm. It was a human boy wearing white robes, sandals, and a golden crown of leaves on his head, and he was armed with a golden bow and quiver full of lethal arrows. But the strangest thing of all was that he had a pair of wings on his back. Before the astonished spectators' eyes, he broke the bow into two dual blades and beat the Goombas around him to a pulp. The creatures scattered in terror, and he launched back into the air and took aim with his rebuilt bow at the loners.

The portions of Goombas that managed to escape from the arrows darted for the place where they had parked the jeep and trailer; but they find it gone! Bewildered, they took cover behind several packs of cars in the parking lot, and they sighed in relief as their assailant's arrows missed their targets. After about ten seconds of no more arrows, they swarmed out of their hiding place and made a frantic dash for the exit from the parking lot. Just as they were about to escape, something rolled out from behind a nearby bush and stopped at their feet.

The leader screamed, "Yikes! A stun grenade! Run for your—"

_Bam!!!_

Fungus flew everywhere, and the entire crowd was knocked out.

"_Whoa_! That was _cool_!" Young Link cried as he slid down from the tree. "I wish _my_ bow could split like that!"

"But what a-happened?" Luigi asked.

Mario dropped to the ground ahead of his brother, his eyes on the bush. "Look over a-there!"

Suddenly a cardboard box painted to match the bush crawled out. It stopped in a place with no unconscious Goombas underfoot, and then it was thrown off, revealing the person inside. It was another human, a man much older and taller than the winged boy, and he wore a dark blue sneaking suit, a belt full of grenades, and a blue bandana tied around his head. He observed the damage he had caused with a battle-hardened frown. "Objective accomplished," he grunted quietly.

The winged boy flew over to him and yelled with a grin, "No fair using a stun grenade! Go get your own!"

The stranger looked up at him and replied with a small grin of his own, "In your dreams, Cupid."

"I've told you! My name is _not_ Cupid!"

Young Link scampered over to them, interrupting their conversation. "Thanks for saving us!" he exclaimed happily. "And who _are_ you guys? I've never seen you before!"

"We're new in town," explained the winged human, landing beside his quieter partner. "I'm Pit. And Mr. Trigger-happy here likes to be called Solid Snake."

Mario and Luigi caught up, and the green plumber asked, "Where did-a you come from?"

"That Master Hand guy made us Smashers a few hours ago, and we came to look for the rest of the team."

"Solid Snake" folded his arms and said, "I'm assuming you're the Mario Brothers. I've been looking for you."

"Hmm? A-why?" Mario exclaimed.

"Master Hand told me that…" But in mid-sentence, he stopped and looked around. Spying the old lady watching them from a safe distance, he frowns more and lowers his voice. "…I'd better not tell you here. Where is the Princess?"

"She went a-back inside, I a-think," Luigi said.

"Then we'd better find her quick." Before anyone could inquire why that was necessary, Snake darted for Smash-Mart. The others had little choice but to follow him, their curiosity aroused.

What urgent business could this mysterious newcomer have for them?

* * *

**Meanwhile, on a street several miles from Smash-Mart…**

"Beep bop bop beep blip bop bop, boop beep! (You'll never take me alive, coppers!)" screamed Mr. Game & Watch as he careened around a street corner, with several police cruisers in hot pursuit. One pulled up alongside him, but he wheeled the jeep into it and forced it into a telephone pole. The two-dimensional Smasher laughed maniacally and rammed another one on his left side.

Like something out of a street-racing game, he heard the cops shouting through their radios. "Let's set up a roadblock and force him into it! He'll never know what hit him!"

Game & Watch snickered and decided to have some fun with this blockade idea. Barely thinking about the groceries stashed in the trailer, he turned onto another street, following the cops' lead.

* * *

**Bookstore, Middle Floor**

In a large bookstore, Dr. Mario, Falco, and Kirby found themselves in a predicament similar to the Mario Brothers and Young Link's. Dark Samus had them pinned down behind an overturned bookshelf, and she peppered the store with laser fire to ensure that her targets didn't escape.

"Boy, are a-we in a pickle," Dr. Mario said.

"You got that right," agreed Falco, flattening his body against a shelf as more laser blasts zipped over their heads. "The perfect time for my blaster, and I lose it in the mall!"

"I still don't get it. Why has Samus gone insane?" Kirby asked.

Lombardi shouted in his face, _"That's not Samus, you blockhead! It's Dark Samus!"_

Kirby whimpered and turned into a block. "You don't have to yell."

Dr. Mario grabbed both of them by the wrist. "Quit a-fighting!" Then he dragged them to another bookshelf just before their old one was blasted to smithereens by a plasma-cannon shot. "Right a-now we a-need to find a way out of a-here!"

The proverbial light bulb appeared over Kirby's head. "Hey! I have an idea!" He suddenly rolled out from behind the bookshelf and yelled at the top of his lungs, "This fight isn't fair! We aren't armed!"

"What's the little goofball doing now?" Falco muttered. "He's giving away our position!"

But before Dark Samus could fire on the easy target, a hard blow struck her from behind. She sprawled to the floor, unconscious. The doctor and the bird peered out from behind their cove and gaped at her attacker.

"Isn't that Kirby's rival Meta Knight?" Falco whispered to his comrade.

And Meta Knight it was. He sheathed his sword and nodded to the pink puffball. "If there is anything I detest, Kirby," he said in his low voice, "it is an unfair fight. When you are ready for another battle, let me know. I'll be ready." He whipped his blue cape over him, and in a flash, he vanished, leaving the stunned Smashers alone with Dark Samus's unconscious body.

"He doesn't like you but will help you beat an enemy in an unfair fight. You've got a weird rival, Kirby," remarked Falco.

"Yeah, he _is_ pretty mysterious," Kirby agreed. Then his stomach grumbled. "Oh man, I'm hungry again. Maybe Yoshi left something back at the Food Court. I'll catch ya later, guys!" With a final wave he departed, giving Dark Samus a wide berth.

There was a pause, and Falco studied the knocked-out villain uneasily. "Now what should we do?"

Then Dr. Mario froze and gulped. "Um, a-Falco, have a-you forgotten a-something?"

Suddenly they heard blaster fire coming from the other side of the mall, and they spotted the shots zipping around in an arena next to a certain sporting goods store. They both looked at each other and shouted frantically, _"Fox!"

* * *

_

**Sporting Goods Store, Middle Floor**

"Wow! I've never seen Fox go nuts before!" Ness exclaimed as he watched the unusual scene occurring in the dance-off arena.

Only a few minutes earlier, Captain Falcon had been losing to Link in their dance-off. After the Hylian had performed another, more complicated break-dance number, Falcon had reluctantly done the only other song he knew besides "The Chicken Dance": "The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy". He'd even had the pink tutu to boot. Tom Nook had never gotten to rate it, for two reasons. One: he and the others had been laughing too hard at the sorry scene. Two: out of nowhere, a deranged Fox had charged in, armed to the teeth with the two stolen blasters.

With a maniacal laugh, Fox sprayed the arena with blaster fire, dotting every surface with holes; he was too focused on what he was doing to care if his friends were in the crossfire. As the overheating guns shut off to cool down and recharge, he called out hoarsely, "C'mon, raccoon, come out and fight! What are ya, chicken?!"

"What's with Fox?" Marth asked Link, who had hidden with him behind a table.

"I have no idea," replied the Hylian with a shrug. "But someone's gotta calm him down before he hurts somebody."

Suddenly Ness jumped out and yelled to Fox, "Hey Fox! Where'd you get those blasters, huh huh? Can I have one, can I, can I pleeeeaaase?!"

Roy grabbed the back of his shirt and dragged him behind their table just before Fox fired a shot in his direction. "Get back here, pea brain! McCloud's out of his mind!"

"What do we do about it?!" Captain Falcon whimpered, nervously chewing his nails (or rather, the tips of his gloves).

Tom Nook shouted back to him, "I think I know what! I'll lure him out of the store! You find some help!" He jumped out from his hiding place and waved his arms to get the shooter's attention. "I'm over here, sir! If you want to maul me, you have to catch me first!"

The brave raccoon bolted to the front door of his store. Fox took the bait and followed, but instead of bringing his blasters, he exchanged them for a _hammer!_ Upon seeing this, Nook sped up, and the two disappeared from sight. The other crawled out from their hiding spots, wondering what to do.

Then Link suggested, "Let's get Falco and Dr. Mario! They could probably stop him!"

Right on cue, Lombardi and Dr. Mario raced into the shop, only to find that they were too late. Both of them groaned.

"What's wrong with him anyway, Doc?" Roy asked.

"A-well, Fox is a-reacting to his animal instinct," the Italian doctor explained. "A-foxes and raccoons a-don't get along very a-well. Anyway, come a-with us! We a-might need you're a-help with a-stopping him."

The entire group of Smashers and the Nooklings followed Falco and Dr. Mario out of the sporting goods store. But could they safely bring down their deranged comrade?

* * *

**Sears, Top Floor**

The Smashers in Sears (minus Samus, who thought she had seen Dark Samus watching them and had left to search the store for her) had been chasing the Ice Climbers' runaway lawn mower all over the store, but somehow it had managed to stay a few feet ahead of them. After several laps around the store, the princesses and the evil fighters had grown tired of running after it; they had opted to wait until the possessed thing runs out of gas.

They were somewhere between the lawn care and carpeting sections; Bowser and Ganondorf were lying spread-eagled on the floor, wiped out, and the two princesses took up a bench beside them. As the Ice Climbers made another pass by them, they could be seen fighting over the wheel—Popo wanted to keep riding, but Nana was begging him to stop.

Suddenly they all heard the sound of another engine, and a yellow motorcycle soared over the villains' heads. It hit the ground with a clunk but raced after the mower, leaving several tire marks on the floor. The four Smashers bounded to their feet in surprise.

"What the heck?!" exclaimed Ganondorf.

Daisy studied the back of the rider, and she groaned in disgust. "Oh great. It's…"

"It's-a me, _Wario!"_ the rider sniggered, pulling up beside the mower. He grinned at the stunned Ice Climbers. "Need a lift?" They nodded vigorously; even Popo was getting scared of the ride. They leaped off the mower together and landed safely behind Wario, who wheeled the motorcycle around and headed back to the other Smashers.

Zelda was relieved. "Wow! Thank you, mister, uh…"

Daisy, on the other hand, wasn't impressed a bit. "Wario," she said flatly, with her arms folded and her eyes on the fat rider. Then, to Wario himself, "Why did you do that? No wait, let me guess: for a reward."

Wario chuckled and gave a sarcastic bow to the princess. "Oh, but course, Your Highness," he sneered. "Princesses like you reward do-gooders handsomely."

Daisy grimaced, trying to think of a way to avoid paying the greedy Wario. Then there was a loud crash; everyone looked and saw that the mower had crashed into a wall of the store, now nothing more than a pile of twisted metal. This gave the princess an idea, and she grinned.

"You can have that mower, Wario. Since the Ice Climbers crashed it, it's technically ours, and now we're giving it to you. …Of course, we haven't quite paid the money for it yet; you'll have to do that, I'm afraid." When his eyes bugged out of their sockets and he opened his mouth to protest, she added, "Ah, ah, ah. You don't need to say it. You're quite welcome for the reward. Goodbye now."

She pivoted on her heel and walked away, leaving a flustered and angry Wario gaping at the wreckage. The other Smashers followed her, several of them snickering at Daisy's cleverness.


	11. Dark Alliances Are Forged

Chapter #11: Dark Alliances Are Forged…

**Top Floor of Smash-Mart**

Up on the top floor, Peach had just left a department store (not Sears) with a set of purchased dresses for Zelda, Daisy, and herself. Another store further down the row caught her eye, and she started toward it. But suddenly she heard shouting, from a familiar voice.

"Come on, raccoon! Turn around and fight me!"

_That sounds like Fox, _the Princess thought. _But he doesn't talk like him. Have Dr. Mario and Falco found him yet?_

Suddenly someone rounded a corner and nearly crashed into Peach. It was a brown raccoon wearing an apron. "Oh! So sorry about that, miss!" he stammered.

Peach blinked several times, wondering where she had heard that voice before, and opened her mouth to ask him if they had met. But then Fox dashed around the corner, wielding a Hammer. There was a mad light in his eyes that she had never seen before, and she backed away, as did the strange coon.

"Now I have you!" Fox panted, chuckling with uncontrollable glee. He slowly moved closer to his prey, not noticing Peach standing next to him, stunned. He also failed to hear the sounds of footsteps; the rest of the sporting goods group and Dr. Mario stopped behind him.

"We've caught up!" whispered Roy in between pants. "Now what?!"

Dr. Mario pulled a syringe of green liquid out of one of his coat pockets. "If I a-inject him with a-this," he replied, "then he will a-settle down. But we a-need to get that a-Hammer out of his a-hands and put him on the a-ground. And he can't a-see the syringe, or else he'll a-panic and maybe turn a-that Hammer on us; I've a-had to get Bowser and-a Ganondorf to drag him into a-my office for his a-shots."

Marth let out a low whistle; their friend must fight hard for the Italian physician to ask the evil Smashers for help. "I don't blame him; that needle looks pretty sharp."

"So how do we do all that?" Captain Falcon asked.

A light bulb appeared over Link's head, and he grinned. "Easy: we fight Hammer with Hammer!" He pulled another Hammer out from behind him; he had picked it up just before leaving the sporting goods store, thinking it would come in handy. "Remember the Melees? If you grab a Hammer and hit someone else who also has a Hammer, chances are that he'll go flying."

"That's a-50 percent of the time," Dr. Mario warned with a worried frown. "The other a-half is that _you _are a-sent flying."

"Yeah, but you forgot one thing, Doc: I'll get him for sure if I attack from below. What I need you guys to do is to get him in an elevated spot so I can come out from under him. Got it?"

"Got it!" the rest whispered.

A hand tugged on Link's tunic, and he looked down to see Ness. "If you send him to the hospital like last time, can I have his blaster?" he eagerly asked. Several of the Smashers rolled their eyes.

Link put his hand forward. "Now let's do it!"

Everyone stacked hands and cheered. But the smiles faded from their faces when they saw Tom Nook on the run once again with Fox at his heels. He was getting awfully close…

"We'd better hurry before he mauls Nook," said Falco.

Dr. Mario pointed at a nearby assembly of vendor's carts (you know, the kinds you sometimes see in malls outside stores). "Those a-look like a-good places to catch a-him."

Roy volunteered, "Marth and I'll get Nook and lure Fox onto the carts! Wait for our signal, Link!" They dashed off on their self-appointed mission, and the others followed. But a familiar voice called out, and all but the three swordsmen stopped.

"Dr. Mario! What's wrong with Fox?"

"Princess Peach!" the group exclaimed in unison.

"He is a-reacting to his animal instinct, Your a-Highness," the doctor explained to her. "Foxes and a-raccoons are natural enemies. Don't a-worry; we have a plan."

Marth and Roy managed to grab Tom Nook, who was surprised by their sudden appearance, and leaped on top of one of the carts. Snarling angrily, Fox followed with his Hammer. The two swordsmen jumped to the next one, and they grinned as their pursuer ran in place; the gap was too far a jump for him. He paused to make a decision, and the pair saw their chance.

"_Now, Link!"_

Taking a deep breath and muttering "Here goes nothing", Link pressed the red button on his Hammer's handle, activating it and its theme jingle (the one that plays when someone uses a Hammer). Gripping it tightly as it automatically vibrates (thus causing him to move up and down as you see in Melees), he ran straight for the cart, and around it to Fox's position. When Fox's back was turned, he gathered himself and jumped. The leap was big enough to make contact, and their vulpine friend reeled from the blow. He fell off the cart onto the ground, dropping the Hammer in the process.

The other Smashers wasted no time in rushing over to him, and they planted his limbs firmly on the ground so he couldn't move. Then, after Capt. Falcon covered McCloud's eyes to prevent him from seeing, Dr. Mario injected the liquid in his syringe. Fox yelped at the prick and then went limp as the medicine went to work.

"He's asleep now," said the Italian with a relieved sigh. "He should be a-calm when he wakes up."

The others also sighed and wiped their foreheads, glad it was over.

Princess Peach, who had also run over when Fox fell from the cart, overheard the news and said, "Oh good." Then she turned to the raccoon. "Are you all right, Mr., um…"

"Tom Nook," the shopkeeper replied with a bow. "I'm all right, thanks to your friends. And you are…?"

"Princess Peach."

Nook's eyes bulged out of their sockets, and he broke into a sweat. "Oh! Princess! Um, yes, that's right! I should have remembered you by your voice! Err, I mean…"

"My voice? You mean we've met? Funny, I seem to recall hearing _your_ voice somewhere…"

His honesty got the better of him, and he stuttered, "W-well, I c-called your phone a f-few hours ago…I-I think th-that's where you heard me."

The Smashers froze and took turns staring at him and one another in shock. Nook was the telemarketer that Peach had been arguing with on the bus! They looked at Peach to see her reaction. At first, she only stared at him silently. Then a smile crept onto her face. But they knew that that wasn't a friendly smile. It was the smile she gave Ness whenever he messed with her most valuable possessions and broke them.

Nook was in _**big**_ trouble.

Link whispered into the coon's ear, "A word of advice, Nookster: run." But he only gulped and nodded; the usually kind Princess's stare had him rooted to his spot.

Finally Peach held out a hand to Link and said calmly, "Give me that."

Puzzled, he raised an eyebrow at her. "Give you what?"

Her face suddenly cracked into a maniacal grin. _"The Hammer."_

With a scream of terror, Tom took off at a sprint for the nearby elevators, with a furious, Hammer-wielding Princess in hot pursuit.

"Should we help them?" Falco inquired to the others as they watch the two leave.

Captain Falcon plopped down on a bench. "No way, I'm pooped," he whined. "Besides, Peach will probably turn on _us_ if we help. We'll be flattened."

"Like pancakes!" quipped Ness.

Roy rubbed his stomach. "Speaking of food, I'm starving! Let's check out the Food Court!"

There was a groan behind them, and they turned to see Fox sitting up and rubbing his head. "What happened?" he mumbled.

"We stopped you from mauling Nook, Fox," his wingmate answered.

McCloud sat up straight and covered his face. "Oh yeah! Man, do I owe that guy an apology! I hate it when stuff like that happens! Where is he?"

They looked down on the middle floor and heard angry shouts and frightened screams. "Uhhh, he's busy right now with an angry customer," replied Link. "We'll talk to him when he gets back."

But his mind silently added, _…if he even does…

* * *

_

**Food Court, Top Floor**

Meanwhile, Kirby was answering the call of his rumbling, bottomless stomach. But when he got to the Food Court, he tripped on one of the hundreds of banana peels littering the floor. Confused, he watched where he put his feet more carefully and looked around for his buddy Yoshi.

He found him in a different corner of the court than where he had left him, lying on a table next to an enormous pile of peels. But he isn't alone; Donkey Kong sat at the base of an even bigger pile, peeling off another banana while licking his lips. Another pile was next to theirs, but it was abandoned.

Yoshi brightened when he saw the pink Smasher. "Hey, Kirby! Where've you been?! I thought you were in the restroom!" he greeted and questioned at the same time.

"It's a long story, Yoshi," Kirby replied, hopping onto the table next to him. "First off, what happened here?"

The green dinosaur gestured to the banana-peel piles. "Oh, nothing special, just DK, Boshi, and me having a banana-eating contest."

"Whoa, whoa, wait! You had a contest without me?! And Boshi was here?!"

"Sorry about that. You just took a long time, and Boshi showed up and wanted a pizza-eating contest. After that, DK had us eat bananas. He won, of course."

The ape grinned at them, held up his banana, and offered, "Ook eek ack ook eek eek ack (But you guys did pretty good)."

"Where is Boshi now?" Kirby inquired.

Yoshi shrugged. "He went into the bathroom like you did before. He hasn't come out. By the way, what took you so long in there?"

The puffball shivered. "You're not gonna believe this, but there was some guy in a cloak in there. I asked him who he was, but he knocked me out! When I woke up, I found Meta Knight there. He told me the guy wanted him to keep me in the bathroom. I had to use the ventilation system to get out! And I tell ya, it was a tight squeeze!"

Yoshi's eyes widened to the size of saucer plates. "They're working together?! Do you have any idea who this guy is?!"

"Not a clue! I've never seen him before!"

"We should go in there and find out who he is!" the dino exclaimed, standing up.

Kirby frantically waved his stubby arms. "No way hosay! He'd get us both! He was really quick! We're no match for him, especially if we're full of food!"

"Then we should tell everybody else! Mario will know what to do!"

"What about Boshi?"

He stopped and thought about it. "I can't believe I'm saying it, but I hope he's okay. For all we know, that creepy guy could be hurting him right now!"

---

Actually, the exact opposite was taking place in the dangerous bathroom. With a big, cunning grin on his face, the blue Yoshi shook the gloved hand of the mysterious stalker.

"So, you're sayin' that if I help ya knock off this Italian dude, you'll help me get payback on Yoshi?" he asked slowly.

The cloaked head nodded. "Exactly," replied a voice, its features masked by a low tone. "I don't plan on hurting him; he just has something I need—something that was stolen from me." He looked down at his free hand, which tightened into a fist. "They mean a lot to me. And if he's hurt them, I'll make him _pay_…"

"You're really takin' this seriously, aren't ya?"

"Of course. I'm not leaving here until I get them back." Realizing how much he had said, he stopped and looked at his new accomplice. "I think we'll make a great team, Boshi."

"So do I, my man…so do I…"

* * *

**Meanwhile, on the shoulder of a highway a ways from Smash-Mart…**

Mr. Game & Watch's fun had come to an abrupt halt. He had underestimated the police, and they had surprised him with a spike strip. The tires on both the jeep and the trailer were blown out, and it was stranded on the side of the road. The police had surrounded him and ordered him out of the car, and he reluctantly did. Recognizing him as a Smasher, they contacted the Super Smash Brothers complex to report him. As they did so, they also discovered the trailer's contents; they questioned him about where he got it all, and he claimed that the items had been purchased. But he lacked the things that would prove it: the receipts. The two-dimensional Smasher moaned and slammed his head against the trailer several times.

He was in a lot of hot water, and the only person who could get him out of it was half an hour away in Smash-Mart…

* * *

**Sears, Top Floor**

Game & Watch wasn't the only one in big trouble. Inside the Sears store, Dark Samus had ambushed the Princesses, the evil Smashers, the Ice Climbers, and her good twin. They had taken cover in the appliance section yet again, but they were running out of hiding places. Bowser, in particular, was an easy target because of his size.

But as the evil Aran took aim at him, Samus appeared and fired a plasma cannon shot; her dark twin was sent sprawling, and her shot at the Koopa King went wide. The Ice Climbers cheered for their rescuer, but their happy cries turned into shocked gasps when Dark Samus suddenly tackled the good Samus to the ground. They wrestled briefly, and then, to the horror of the Smashers, the dark-suited Aran shot a plasma blast into her hunter's chest at point-blank range. Good Samus shuddered and lay still.

Cackling with delight, Dark Samus turned back on her prey. Daisy and the Ice Climbers were huddled in a corner, unable to escape. Zelda, who had transformed into her Sheik costume, stood over them protectively, armed with her throwing knives.

This only amused their enemy further. "Ha! Like those primitive things could pierce my armor! You so-called 'Smashers' are weaker than I thought! You four should make excellent hostages!"

But suddenly a giant Koopa claw knocked her into a weak shelf that collapsed over her on impact. Bowser took up a defensive position in front of the girls and the Ice Climbers, and he roared, "Nobody takes the princesses captive but _us!"_

"That's a comforting thought," Sheik muttered to her friend, with a roll of her eyes.

Dark Samus, realizing she was outnumbered, wisely chose retreat over battle. She backed away toward one of the paths through the giant Sears store, intending to disappear again. But she couldn't resist one final taunt. "At least I finally defeated my rival!"

"Guess again!" called a familiar voice.

_Kablaamm!!!_

The Smashers gasped and covered their eyes. An immense blast of energy had slammed into Dark Samus from the side! She was knocked clean off her feet through five shelves of appliances, all the way to a thick wall. She soon disappeared under a pile of microwaves, toasters, blenders, and other small kitchenware devices.

Popo was the first to open his eyes, and he spotted a figure striding toward them. "Samus!" he cried.

And Samus it was, but a big change had happened. Her armor was gone, have split apart into several pieces both from her enemy's blow and the powerful blast she had fired back. Instead, she wore a hard, blue outfit. In her firing hand she held a blaster which could convert into a lightsaber-like whip. With a nod to her shocked friends, she walked to the pile where her doppelganger was buried; only her helmet was showing. The good Aran held the beam of her weapon an inch above Dark's throat, her face serious and firm.

"Leave my friends alone, or I will reconsider returning you to Master Hand alive."

Dark Samus shook visibly, and ducked deeper into the pile of ruined appliances. Bowser came over and dug through them, but was mystified to find no one at the bottom. Samus frowned and shook her head.

"She must have used a cloaking device to sneak off." Noticing her comrades staring at her new form, she put the matter away and turned to them. "It's a recent upgrade called the Zero Suit. It's backup armor strong enough to protect me in combat." Then she bent over and began collecting the pieces of her normal armor. "But I need to get this one repaired. I doubt we've seen the last of Dark Samus."

---

Samus was closer to the truth than she could have suspected. A few aisles down from them, in the tools section, Dark Samus shook hands with Wario, who had witnessed the whole incident.

"We both hate 'em, so let's work together," he said with a conniving grin, rubbing his hands together.

"Agreed," she whispered. "I suggest we leave them and kidnap one of their other friends. I saw others while running from my do-gooder twin."

"Good idea! I think I know where to start…"

* * *

**Entrance to Smash-Mart, Top Floor**

"So, what Nintendo world are _you _from?" Young Link inquired as he, the Mario Brothers, and the two new Smashers walk into the mall. He had already asked Pit; his current question was directed at the quiet human in the sneaking suit.

Snake halted and searched the top floor for signs of other Smashers, but none were visible from there. Without looking at the others, he responded, "…I'm not from this universe."

"Huh?!"

"A-what do you mean?!" Mario sputtered.

The agent turned around and looked at them seriously. "There are other universes besides this one, but most of them are smaller than yours. I'm from one of them. I was summoned here by your boss, Master Hand. He needs outside help with a crisis that has occurred here."

"A crisis?!" Pit exclaimed. "You never mentioned that to me before!"

"It's supposed to be classified, but I guess there's no harm in letting you in on it, since you're involved in it. Take a seat; it's time I brief you."

Immediately the four Nintendo characters sat down on a bench, their eyes on him. After a moment of silence and looking to see if they were alone, Snake began.

"There has been a breaking of rules concerning the interactions of universes. For a long time, the Nintendo universe did not mingle with other universes like it; but that has changed. A citizen of one of your worlds has traveled into another universe—no one is sure whether it was on accident or on purpose—and stolen a number of unknown items from one of the worlds. An inhabitant of that world has, in turn, traveled here to take them back. Master Hand believes he's stalking you even now, intent on getting the stolen items back. And it is my understanding that he refuses to return to his world without getting what he wants."

"Do you a-have any idea who a-did it?" Luigi stammered.

He put his back to them, contemplating the question. "Not really. We only know who he's following around." He turned around and looked directly at Mario. "That would be you, Mario."

The red plumber's eyebrows shot up. "A-_me_?! "But a-why?! I have a-traveled to other a-places, but I a-certainly didn't a-steal anything!"

"I know that, and so does Master Hand. We think you might have been mistaken for someone else. For now, let's keep our eyes open and be ready if the visitor from the other world shows up to fight."

Mario nodded and stood up. "We a-should tell the others about a-this!"

"Good idea, bro!" Luigi said, following suit.

The five ran out of the lobby onto the walkways of Smash-Mart, hoping to run into the other Smashers before the stalker from another universe could strike.

---

…But it wasn't the stalker himself that would strike first. The true troublemakers were Dark Samus and Wario. They had just left Sears when they spotted Princess Peach chasing a brown raccoon with a Hammer up and down the rows of store. They followed them and snickered in the darkness together. They had found a way to get their revenge on the Smashers in Sears…


	12. The Kidnapping & Another Duel, Part 1

Chapter #12: The Kidnapping and Another Duel, Part 1

**Bottom Floor of Smash-Mart**

At the urging of Fox, who wanted to apologize for his behavior, he, Falco, and Dr. Mario left the rest of the sporting goods group to chase after Peach and Tom Nook to the bottom floor of Smash-Mart. There they found the irate princess chasing the poor raccoon in circles around more vendors' carts.

"How much more running do you think he can stand?" Falco remarked.

Nook heard them and shouted back, "My feet are extremely sore, fellows! I would appreciate a little help!"

The trio made a move to do so, but suddenly a familiar, wicked voice sneered, "Allow a-_me_, losers!" Something yellow whizzed by and sent them spinning and coughing from the exhaust. They stopped just in time to see a yellow motorcycle pass Peach (who didn't seem to notice it at first); its rider grabbed Tom by the collar of his suit. With a cry he and his supposed savior rounded a corner and sped away out of sight.

"That was a-_Wario!"_ exclaimed Dr. Mario in surprise and anger. "A-what is _he_ a-doing here?!"

"I don't know, but he took Nook!" Fox said. "We need to go after him! He can't be up to any good!"

Out of the corner of his eye, Falco spotted a black figure leaping down from the middle floor and running in their general direction. "Uhh…guys," he butted in, "I don't think he's working alone."

A scream confirmed his guess. They turned back and saw Dark Samus rounding the same corner with Princess Peach under one arm and the confiscated Hammer in her hand.

Lombardi slapped his forehead in exasperation. "This day just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?"

The others silently agreed, and they quickly darted after the kidnappers.

---

Unbeknownst to any of them, a certain blue Yoshi wearing sunglasses had seen the kidnapping from the window of an empty store, and quickly contacted his new ally via a walkie-talkie. "Yo, partner, two newbies took some weird coon and Mario's girlfriend on the middle floor. Sound like somethin' we should get involved in?"

The voice of the Stalker answered, "I'm not fond of kidnappers, but we need the Princess to get at Mario. That raccoon could be useful too. We could sneak them out from under their noses."

"I dunno, man, they're pretty tough, 'specially that chick in the dark space suit. You sure you can handle 'em?"

There was a casual, cocky laugh, but not the evil type. "Of course! I might not be from around here, but I can take whatever comes at me!"

"Okay then. I'll meet ya at the elevators. Boshi out."

* * *

**Top Floor**

In one area on the top floor of Smash-Mart, Link studied a map of the mall; beside him, Ness hopped up and down nervously.

"Let's see…we're right here," mumbled the Hylian hero, moving his finger over the map. "And the nearest bathroom is…"

"C'mon, Link, hurry up! I gotta go, gotta go right now!" whined Ness.

"I'm trying, Ness! Just gimme a second! Aha!" The Hylian jabbed his finger on one large building on the map; close to his finger is the bathroom symbol. "There's one right here! I think that place is Sears!"

"Where is it, where is it, where is it?!"

"I have no idea!" But, as he and the boy walked to the other side of the map display, they saw the entrance to Sears right in front of them. Link slapped his forehead. "Never mind."

Ness darted into the store, his head constantly turning as he searched for a sign showing the bathroom. Link had to run at full speed to catch up with him. They found it between the perfume and shoes sections, and the boy ran inside. Link decided to wait outside; but after a minute of silence, he heard familiar voices close by.

"Will you two hurry up?! We're gonna suffocate if you don't!"

"It's not our fault you can't stand perfume!"

He jogged into the perfume section and found not only the two speakers (Ganondorf and Daisy), but also Zelda, the Ice Climbers, and Bowser. One look (and a good sniff) told him that the princesses had taken advantage of the free perfume samples that were being offered, and were trying each and every one, much to the evil Smashers' horror and disgust.

"Hey, guys," he greeted. Zelda and Daisy returned the hello politely, and the Ice Climbers waved.

"Good! Another guy on our side!" Bowser growled with a bit of glee. "Mind scaring them out of here with your sword, hero?"

Link frowned and replied, "Yeah, I mind." Then he grinned. "By the way, I think I saw Ganondorf's favorite cologne a few rows back."

His nemesis shoved him out of the way to go and search for the cologne, and Bowser followed, if only to get away from the mixed smells of the perfume samples.

"Thank you so much for getting rid of them!" Daisy said. "They were getting on my nerves!"

Link shrugged. "No problem."

"Where is everyone else?"

He told them all about Tom Nook's store, the Hylian duel, Fox's behavior, and Peach's rampage. Just as he finished, Ness came out of the men's room, joined them, and started telling the same story with more exaggeration and at a much faster speed. Of course, Link stopped him and suggested (with a mischievous grin) that he tell the evil Smashers. Completely clueless and eager as always, Ness did just that. The group stifled snickers and giggles as he ran off to find them.

Then Samus, who had pieced together her Power Suit (but left the helmet off) and left them to do a patrol (again), came back, her face concerned and thoughtful. The princesses and Link greeted her, but she didn't respond back.

"Somethin' on your mind, Aran?" Link asked.

A pause. "…Have you seen Dark Samus at all today, Link?"

"Your dark twin?" He shook his head. "Nuh-uh. Why? Is she running loose in Smash-Mart?"

"I'm afraid so. And I think she is in league with the one you call Wario. I saw them leave the store together."

The gang's eyes widened; Dark Samus and Wario would make a dangerous duo. "Anything we can do to help?" Zelda said.

"We should leave Sears and try to find the others; no doubt those two will try to pick a fight."

"But there's still so much we haven't seen here!" Daisy piped up. "I want to check out the electronics next! The boys have been complaining about getting a new TV!"

Samus sighed. "All right then. Since Link is here, I'll let you keep looking around. But I'm leaving." She put on her helmet, armed her cannon, and ran off. She heard Link shout "Good luck!" before she rounded a corner and left their sight.

* * *

**Middle Floor of Smash-Mart**

Young Link looked timidly to both sides of him as he strolled along the boardwalk of the middle floor. His group had ended up splitting into two groups, and he, without his own consent, had been placed with the two newcomers, Snake and Pit. After chewing on his lip for a bit, he got up the courage to ask a question.

"Umm, what's the plan again?"

Pit, the friendlier or more outgoing of the two, answered, "The Mario Brothers are going to look for your friends on the top floor, and we're gonna search the middle floor for any others."

"When you first got here," Snake interrupted, glancing at the Hylian boy, "did you see where everyone else went, Young Link?"

"Uhh, not really. I remember Marth and Roy heading down this way…"

"Which store?"

"Dunno. But knowing them, they went looking for some kind of sporting goods store."

"Good enough."

They rounded a corner and stopped in front of the biggest store on the floor. But there was a problem; its windows were covered, and its door was locked. The closed sign also hung over the door. Pit and Young Link glanced at one another with puzzled looks; according to the business-hours chart on the door, it was too early for closing.

"Something's wrong here…" Snake muttered.

Without warning the doors burst open, and two small raccoons in turquoise business suits tackled Young Link.

"Mr. Link, sir!" cried one.

"…Sir!" the other repeated.

"You've got to help us! Dad's gone and he hasn't come back and this weird guy keeps following us around and…"

"Hold on a second!" Young Link yelped, backing away from them. "I'm not Link! I'm _Young_ Link!"

They stopped panicking and stared at him with confused expressions. "What?" they said in unison.

"Uhhh, I mean…I'm a younger version of Link—a different person."

"…Oh." Again, they spoke as one.

Pit stepped forward and asked, "What's all this about a stranger following you around?"

At the mentioning of that, the two ushered them inside the dark store. After locking the door behind them, one of them turned to the Smashers. (You couldn't tell, but it was Timmy.)

"You see, our dad runs the store," he explained, "and he met some guys like you. One of them, a fox, got all crazy and chased him out into the rest of the mall."

Young Link's eyes widened. "Fox? I wonder why he went crazy. That's not like him."

The other raccoon (Tommy) finished, "He left us in charge of the store, and then this guy came in and has been following us around. When he left for a second, we locked up the store."

Snake's frown (he always seemed to have that expression) deepened, and he cut in, "Was he wearing a black cloak with a hood?"

Timmy Nookling shook his head. "Not a cloak; it was a purple cape, and he wore some kinda knight helmet on his head. He had a sword too."

Suddenly a suspicion popped into Young Link's mind. "Was he kinda short, stubby, and round?"

Timmy exclaimed, "Yeah!" while Tommy yelled, "Yes!"

The boy pounded a fist into his open palm. "That's Meta Knight, Kirby's archrival! He's a weird guy; Kirby told us all about him."

Snake folded his arms and looked slightly disappointed. "If he's from Kirby's world, then he can't be the one we're watching out for. Why would he be stalking these two?"

Young Link shrugged. "I dunno. Nobody knows why he does things, not even Kirby."

A new voice made them freeze.

"Then allow me to enlighten you."

The trio of Smashers and the twin coons whirled around to face none other than Meta Knight; he had been hiding in the store all along! The Nooklings whimpered and hid behind Pit and Young Link, who backed up a few steps. But Snake stepped forward, a pistol in his hands.

"Start explaining," he snapped.

Meta Knight unsheathed his sword. "Very well, but only because I want to. The owner of this store, Tom Nook, has gotten involved with some of you, 'Smash Brothers'. I knew that I would eventually find some of you if I followed his sons."

"So it's us you really want."

"That is correct."

"Anyone in particular?"

"Your leader, the Italian in the red costume. He possesses something an ally of mine is looking for."

The puzzle pieces came together, and Pit's mouth fell open. "You're in cahoots with the Stalker!"

"In a way. After all, 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend'. He opposes the Smash Brothers, and one of them is my own rival, so I, in a sense, oppose the rest of you." He suddenly leaped on top of one shelf. "And I swore on my honor that I would help him complete his quest at any cost."

Snake cocked his weapon with a grim chuckle. "I'm afraid I can't let you do that."

"_I_?" repeated a puzzled Young Link.

Suddenly Meta Knight dove off the shelf towards them, sword held forward and bat-like wings outstretched. Snake swerved out of his way and aimed a powerful kick to his enemy's left side. Meta Knight was barely able to stay in the air, and, still reeling, opted to hide in the darkness of the store. The human, while watching the shadows, called to the other Smashers, "You two take the coons and find the rest of your friends! I'll handle him!"

Glad to avoid the fight, Pit and Young Link each took one Nookling by the hand and led them out of the store as fast they could run.

* * *

**Top Floor of Smash-Mart**

Meanwhile, on the top floor, Yoshi and Kirby had frantically searched for the other Smashers in every store but Sears. Unfortunately, the entrance on that floor was blocked by a strange mob of Goombas, who taunted and harassed them whenever they came close. Needless to say, they kept their distance.

"There are too many," Yoshi said. "Let's use the middle floor entrance."

They headed for the escalators, only to discover that they were under repairs. That left the elevators.

"Let's hope they don't play boring music," Kirby muttered as they walked to one elevator shaft.

Suddenly they heard a familiar voice cry, "Yoshi! Pink dude! Over here!"

They whirled around to see, much to their surprise, Boshi sitting on the floor of the elevator opposite them, bound in rope.

"Boshi!?!" the pair cried, quickly rushing to his aid.

"What happened?!" Kirby exclaimed.

"When I was in the bathroom, a weird hooded guy jumped me!" replied the blue dinosaur. "I've been his hostage for _hours_, man, and it's the pits!"

"Wow," said Yoshi. "He sounds like trouble."

"Quick! He might be coming back! Take this thing to the bottom floor and untie me!"

Yoshi worked to untie his blue counterpart, and Kirby pressed the buttons needed to take them down to the bottom floor. But the moment the elevator began moving and the last of the bonds were untied, a mischievous grin appeared on Boshi's face. He flutter-jumped up into the air, knocking his helpers down, opened a hidden panel in the ceiling, and climbed out. At the same time, the elevator came to a sudden stop, throwing the two Smashers to their knees again.

"Ha ha! _Losers!"_ the blue Yoshi shouted. "You totally fell for it! You really thought I was in trouble? You morons are dumber than I thought! Man, I never thought the hooded dude's plan would work so _well!"_

"Wh-wha…?!" sputtered Kirby.

Yoshi, however, understood perfectly; he should have known it the whole time. "You're working with the guy that knocked out Kirby!" he exclaimed angrily.

Again Boshi grinned. "Correctomundo, my man. He helped me trap you here, and in return I'm helpin' him get your pal Mario."

The two's eyes widened. "Mario?!"

"Dat's right, and there's nuthin' you can do about it now. Your elevator is stuck in here until somebody finds ya…hopefully before ya starve. Good luck, losers!"

"No, wait!" Kirby shrieked, leaping for the opening.

But Boshi pushed the panel back in place and locked it, and the puffball was knocked back down onto the floor. The pair of trapped Smashers shivered with fear as Boshi hovered back to the top floor, his maniacal laughs echoing in the shaft…

---

Boshi didn't know it, but someone had already found Kirby and Yoshi. Inside the security room of Smash-Mart, a Koopa security guard was at the computer, and behind him were none other than the Mario Brothers.

"Can a-we get them out?" Luigi asked, fidgeting with worry.

The Koopa typed on the computer, and there was a buzzing sound. "Not from here," he replied with a shake of his head. "Whoever planned this must have flipped a manual emergency switch. I can't shut it off from here."

"We'll a-find it," Mario said, his eyes bright with determination. "Can a-you keep an eye on a-them while we a-do?"

"Anything for the Mario Brothers!"

Nodding at one another grimly, the brothers raced out of the room to rescue Yoshi and Kirby…and possibly to find the one who had plotted the whole scheme…


	13. The Kidnapping & Another Duel, Part 2

Chapter #13: The Kidnapping and Another Duel, Part 2

**Unknown Location, Bottom Floor of Smash-Mart**

Inside a small, dark closet, two unconscious figures lay against one wall, and their arms and feet were tied with rope. One of them stirred, and with a groan sat up.

"…Wh…where am I?" murmured a female voice. The speaker was none other than Princess Peach. She blinked several times, but it didn't help her see in the darkness. She suddenly became aware of the other person lying next to her, and reached out with one restrained hand, grabbed the rope, and shook him.

"Mr. Nook? Mr. Nook, wake up!"

With a startled snort, the raccoon sat upright and mumbled, "Eh, what? Who's that?"

"It's Princess Peach, sir."

He yelped and fell over himself trying to scramble away from her. "P-please don't hurt me!" he cried. "I'm sorry for pestering you on the phone, really I am!"

"I forgive you. Besides, I can't hurt you even if I wanted to; we're tied up."

He gulped and struggled a little bit with his ropes. "Who did this to us?! It all happened so fast…"

The princess bit her lip and thought hard. In her own Hammer-crazed state, she hadn't recognized their kidnappers at first—but now, she could.

"Wario and Dark Samus!" she whispered, both angry and fearful.

"Wh-who are th-they?!" Tom Nook stammered.

"Wario is a greedy menace from where I come from," she replied, frowning. "Dark Samus is from a different world than mine. She's always gunning for the good Samus, a friend of mine."

"What do they want with us?"

"I'm not sure, but they might be trying to get at the rest of the Smash Brothers."

"The who?"

"You've met some of them. I can tell you all about them, if you like."

He nodded and grumbled, "It will pass the time, since we won't be getting out any time soon."

And so Peach began to tell Nook the adventures (and mishaps) of the Super Smash Brothers…

---

What Peach was unaware of was that three of her friends—Fox, Falco, and Dr. Mario—were standing in front of the very store where she and Nook were being held captive.

"I swear I saw Dark Samus go in here!" the bird exclaimed, banging his fists on the door. "Hey, open up!"

"Um…Falco," Dr. Mario interrupted, "read the a-sign."

The sign he pointed to read, "Opening Hours: 3:00 PM-10:00 PM". The Italian doctor showed his watch, and the hands showed 2:45 PM. The two Star Fox members groaned.

"Can't we just bust the door down?" Falco suggested.

Fox shook his head. "And get in trouble with security? No thanks. We're going to wait. Besides, that thing has steel bars; there's no way we could bust through that."

"…But maybe DK can! Yo, DK, over here!"

The ape was simply passing by when Falco flagged him down, and he walked over to them (in the way apes do) with a friendly expression. "Ook eek. Ack ack? (Hey, guys. What's up?)"

"Peach and a raccoon are trapped inside that store," Lombardi said, pointing at the door. "Think you can help us?"

DK examined the door, scratched his head for about a minute, and then shook his head glumly. "Ook ook, eek ack ook. (Sorry, it's too strong.)" But then he spied a poster in the window of the store and grinned. "Eek, ook ack ack ook eek eek ack ack. (But, I have a better idea.)"

"What? What?!" the bird asked impatiently.

"Ack ook ook. Ook eek eek." Then, with a mysterious smile, he lumbered off.

Fox blinked in confusion. "What did he say?"

Dr. Mario closed his eyes, rubbed his chin in thought, then opened his eyes and answered, "He a-said, 'Find Young Link. He can help.'"

* * *

**Bottom Floor of Smash-Mart**

On the other side of the bottom floor, Young Link, Pit, and the Nooklings had just reached the end of the escalators, panting heavily.

"Man, Meta Knight _is_ scary," the boy in green said between breaths. "I hope that Snake guy can take him."

Pit shrugged. "He told me he's taken on gigantic mechs before; I wouldn't worry about him."

Suddenly they heard a familiar voice cry out, "Hey, it's little Link!" Captain Falcon, Marth, and Roy ran up to them.

Young Link's face flushed. "For the last time, Falcon; it's _Young_ Link!" He had never liked being called "little".

Then Roy noticed the newcomer, and cocked an eyebrow at his wings and outfit. "Hey, who's the new guy? An older version of Cupid?"

Much like his younger friend, Pit's face turned red. "I'm _not_ Cupid! I'm Pit!" He suddenly felt a small tug on his tunic, and looked down; one of the Nooklings stared up at him with wide eyes.

"We need to keep going," Timmy whimpered. "We need to hide."

"Hide, hide," squeaked Tommy.

Marth cocked an eyebrow. "Hide from what? The boogeyman?"

Young Link vigorously shook his head. "Worse; Meta Knight! He attacked their dad's store! But some new guy named Snake is fighting with him!"

The trio blinked in surprise, and the two warriors drew their swords. "Then let's go help!" Roy declared.

"No, no!" Timmy broke in. "We know of a hiding place! He won't find us there!"

Marth and Roy reluctantly put away their swords, and the group followed the two little raccoons to the "hiding place".

* * *

**Middle Floor of Smash-Mart**

On the floor above, Samus walked slowly along, scanning for Dark Samus. So far she had found no traces of her, and was getting frustrated (not to mention an itchy trigger finger). If she didn't find her soon, she would have to take her anger out on some inanimate object.

Suddenly she heard loud crashing coming from inside a sporting goods store to her right. The window blinds were up, and the door was locked. The mercenary took one look at the sign showing the opening hours, and her eyes narrowed.

_It shouldn't be closed at this hour…very suspicious…I'd better scan it._

Her scanner revealed two life forms moving rapidly about. One was a human, and the other an unknown; the closest her database could get to identification was that it was from the same world as Kirby. Samus recalled her fellow Smasher's stories about his rival, Meta Knight, and charged her arm-mounted cannon. Then she blasted the door open and walked in while charging for another shot.

Out of the shadows appeared a human in a blue sneaking suit holding a grenade. He tossed it into one aisle of the store and then ducked in cover, watching the new arrival the whole time.

"You must be Samus Aran," he said.

"I am," she replied. "And you are…?"

"Solid Snake, a new Smasher."

"Hm. I take it you're fighting Meta Knight."

"You're right on that."

"Need some backup?"

A pause, and then he shrugged. "Why not?"

Suddenly they both sensed a pair of eyes on them, and their instincts made them look up. In that same second, Meta Knight released his hold on the ceiling and hurtled toward them, his sword first. But Samus moved quicker and unleashes her charged shot. The blast was a direct hit, and sent Meta Knight rocketing through the ceiling and into the store above them.

Snake raised his eyebrows. "…Impressive."

Under her helmet, Samus smiled. "Thanks." She paused, and then asked, "So, what brings a non-Nintendo fighter to this place?"

He grunted. "I was invited to take part in your games, and there is a crisis between universes."

"Really, now? This is news. Care to brief me?"

The secret agent looked her over for a moment; loner that he was, he could use someone like her in his mission. "…All right. But not here. Meta Knight might come back."

"Agreed."

The two fighters walked out of the battle-torn store side by side.

---

Above the sporting goods store, Meta Knight lay quietly among a pile of giant dolls in a toy store, regaining his strength. But then a blue Yoshi with sunglasses strolled into the aisle, and the minute he saw him, he smirked and tweaked his shades.

"C'mon outta there, Dark and Gloomy. I know you're in there; you're too scary to be some doll."

With an annoyed grunt, Meta Knight did so, and then glared at the Yoshi. "What do you want with me, dinosaur?"

The creature held up his hands. "Hey, hey, man, take it easy. We're on the same side. I've partnered up with the cloaked dude, too! The name's Boshi." He held out one hand; the mysterious knight reluctantly lowered his sword and accepted the handshake.

"I see…where is he?"

"He's rallyin' the troops."

"Troops? What troops?"

"A buncha Goombas. He'll put some under you if ya want."

Meta Knight hummed thoughtfully. "There is strength in numbers; I suppose I shall recruit a few of those…Goombas. Just show me the way."

Boshi chuckled. "Follow me then!" He scampered out of the store, with Meta Knight trailing him and sharpening his blade for more combat…

* * *

**Parking Lot of Smash-Mart**

Outside, the swarm of Goombas was regrouped in front of the store, and standing in front of the entrance was the mysterious cloaked figure known as the Stalker. The fungus minions muttered and whispered to one another, and then their self-appointed speaker—the same Goomba that had fought Luigi and Young Link for the carton of milk—stepped up to their employer.

"So, lemme get this straight," he said. "You want us to bully every single Smash Brother guy we find?"

The cloaked head nodded. "That's right. I don't want them interfering when my other friends and I begin our big plan."

"And what about our reward?"

He reached into his cloak and shows them a bulging bag; he shook it, and the crowd clearly heard the clinking of precious metal inside. "This is only a third of what I have. You'll get it when I get my frie—err, possessions back. Are we clear?"

With imaginary gold coins gleaming in their eyes, the Goomba horde roared, _"Yes!"_

"Good. Now get in there and show those Smash Brothers what you're made of!"

With another roar, the swarm of lackeys charged back into the store, ready to deal out damage to the unsuspecting Smashers…

* * *

**Sears, Top Floor**

"Aw, sweet! Bunk beds! I _love_ bunk beds! Can we get one for my room, guys?! Can we, can we, huh, huh, huh?!"

Ness beamed eagerly at the rest of the Sears group as he bounced on the higher bed of the one set he likes best. The princesses watched with indecision; they had spent plenty of money in the store already, and the bunk bed had a hefty price tag. The Ice Climbers and Link were indifferent to the situation, and the two evil Smashers glared at the hyper kid as he begged some more, and Bowser was breathing smoke, ready to roast Ness if provoked.

"I don't know, Ness," said Daisy. "You don't need a bunk bed. Nobody but the Ice Climbers share your room, and they have their own bunk bed."

"Aw, c'mon! These things are so awesome! Please, please, please?!"

"No, Ness," Link said firmly, folding his arms. "You don't deserve one either. You nearly killed Falcon with your bat, shot an arrow into my butt, and blamed Falcon for it." Ganondorf and Bowser snickered about the arrow incident, and the Hylian warrior tossed a glare at them.

Ness bounced one last time and landed on his feet in front of them; his arms were folded and his lip jutted out in a pout. "Not fair…"

The others turned and walked away, and the boy slowly trudged after them. But then, remembering he had a yo-yo in his pocket, he brought it out and played with it. After a brief warm-up, he started flicking it at the evil Smashers' heads. He snickered quietly to himself whenever he scored a hit, and hid the yo-yo behind his back and acted innocent whenever Ganondorf or Bowser glared at him.

Then, in a bout of spite, the boy started going after Link also. But the Hylian quickly got wise to his tricks, and waited for the perfect opportunity to make a comeback. When he heard Ness winding up for a throw, he made his move.

Just as the yo-yo was released, he sidestepped; it did go past him, but to his horror, it hit Zelda instead. Startled, she stumbled to the floor and dropped the mirror she had brought out of her purse and had been looking into. The mirror fell beside her and shattered into a million pieces, leaving only the pink frame (it was the kind with a handle).

"_My mirror!"_ she gasped. "My favorite mirror!" She got to her feet, holding the remains of her valued possession, and stared at her comrades. But when her gaze focused on Ness and his yo-yo, the "smoking gun", she realized what had happened.

"…You broke my mirror…" The Hylian princess's eye twitched, and the hand holding the mirror frame tightened its grip.

Daisy covered her mouth with both hands. "Oh dear, not again…"

Ness's eyes widened, and he grinned sheepishly and began backing away. "Err, uh, heh, heh…oops?"

Then Zelda exploded.

"_Neeeeeesss!!! I'm going to kill you, you little creep!"_

With a frightened scream, Ness turned around and tried to flee, but Zelda was faster. She ran over, swung one leg back, and punted him like a football up to the first floor of Sears (they were close by the escalators). The living projectile that was Ness soon left his friends' sight, and his screams of pain and terror faded into silence.

Link whistled. "Never knew you could do that, Zelda."

Ganondorf, on the other hand, muttered, "And I thought the only thing she could do was scream in a tower…"

Unfortunately for him, Zelda heard him, and she was still upset. She whirled around and also punted _him_ upward, but this time he only ended up in the ceiling of the middle floor; he did, however, go halfway through, and only his legs were visible.

Fuming, Zelda stomped off to another part of Sears. Link, Daisy, and the Ice Climbers followed her, but Bowser stayed behind to get Ganondorf down. It took some work, but he managed to jump high enough that he could grab his legs and pull him out. But the fall down stunned both of them, and they simply lay on the floor and breathed heavily.

"Well, pal," said the Koopa King, "I think we learned a very valuable lesson today."

"Yeah," the other villain groaned. "Never insult a princess who's good at football."


	14. Great Galloping Goombas!

Author's Note:

If you just clicked the link to read this "new" chapter, put on the brakes for a second. **_This story has been majorly updated; the new chapter is actually Chapter #1. The first few chapters also have new content. So please read the story over again._** You'll like it, I promise. (puppy eyes)

* * *

Chapter #14: Great Galloping Goombas!

**Bottom Floor of Smash-Mart**

"This is a-it. The elevators!"

"Um…bro? I a-think we have a problem."

Mario looked at Luigi with a cocked eyebrow. "A-what?"

"How are we gonna open the doors?"

The red plumber blinked, and then groaned and slapped his forehead. "Oh a-dear…"

The brothers were standing in front of the elevator doors. But, in their hurry to rescue Yoshi and Kirby, they had forgotten the matter of getting inside the elevator shaft.

After some thought, Mario stated, "One of us will a-have to go a-back to the Koopa guard."

Luigi sighed. "I'll a-do it." He turned and began to walk back the way they had come…

But someone dropped from the middle floor and landed inches in front of him. He fell on his rear with a shriek of terror that sounds an awful lot like a girl's. He scrambled to his feet and hid behind his brother, quivering in fright.

Mario, on the other hand, tensed in an attack pose. The person who frightened Luigi looked like Samus, but the armor wasn't right. He didn't like her one bit.

"Who are a-you?" he asked.

"B-b-bro?" the green Mario Brother stammered. "R-r-remember Samus's s-stories about her evil t-twin?"

Dark Samus chuckled wickedly. "So, she has warned you about me. At least we will have worthy opponents."

"_We_?" Luigi squeaked.

"Of course, Wimpy Weegee!" taunted a voice behind them. The Mario Bros. whirled around and saw Wario leering at them while riding his yellow motorcycle.

"Wario!?!" Luigi exclaimed.

"What are a-_you_ doing here, Wario?" Mario said, clenching his fists.

"Ah, just the usual," Wario replied. "Harassing you Smasher wimps, makin' money, takin' sides with your enemies, makin' money, kidnappin' your girlfriend, makin' money…"

"You a-what?!"

The pseudo-Mario sneered at the real plumber. "That's right. Me an' Dark Samus here locked up your girlfriend. Ya want 'er back? Just try and get 'er!"

Dark Samus started running towards the duo to fight, and they tensed, ready to defend themselves. But suddenly, out of nowhere, a dark blur knocked Dark Samus into the air, away from them. While she was sent sprawling, her attacker—none other than Meta Knight—landed in front of Mario and Luigi. The brothers tensed more; they knew from Kirby's stories how dangerous he was. But Meta Knight wasn't focused on them; rather, Wario had his full attention.

"Hand over the princess and do not interfere in our business," he warned him, his voice low but firm.

"In yer dreams, stubby," spat Wario. "Ya want her, come and get her!"

"Then you leave me no choice. Minions, charge!"

The ground suddenly began to rumble underneath their feet, and the brothers wobbled unsteadily. The mall echoed deafeningly with the sound of rushing feet. Wario and Dark Samus covered their ears. Then Luigi turned around and shrieked.

Over a dozen Goombas were charging towards them at full speed!

The terrified, green plumber cringes for impact, but his braver brother turned and waited for them to come, his hands glowing as he prepared fireballs. But suddenly Meta Knight grabbed both of them by the backs of their shirts and flew above the mob to a safe place. He released them to safe ground, and Luigi tried to stammer a "thank-you". But the mysterious knight held up a hand to quiet him, and then glared at the red Mario Brother.

"I have allied myself with the one who is following you, plumber, and he is desperate to have his prized possessions back. If you don't want anything to happen to your friends, then you will leave them in the suitcases under one of the tables at the food court. Understood?"

"B-but he doesn't have—" Luigi tried to say.

But Meta Knight ignored him and flew off to get a few shots at the retreating Wario and Dark Samus. The Goombas continued to chase them to another area. The brothers remained where they were for a moment, puzzling over what had just happened.

"What should we a-do now?" Luigi asked.

Mario rubbed his chin in thought for a moment, and then answered, "I'll a-follow Wario. He might a-lead me to Peach. You a-go to the Koopa and a-tell him to help you open the a-doors. We should still a-help Yoshi and Kirby."

Luigi nodded. "Will a-do, brother."

The two brothers parted ways on their rescue missions, and both were worried. Mario thought about Peach; who knew what evil plans that greedy Wario had in store for her?! But Luigi's mind was on their original mission.

_I a-hope Yoshi and Kirby can wait a little while longer…

* * *

_

**Unknown Location, Smash-Mart**

"I can't wait much longer, Yoshi! I want out!"

Kirby raced around in circles in the small elevator. But Yoshi, the exact opposite in manner, sat calmly in the middle of that circle, watching his panicky friend.

"All the elevators have cameras in them, Kirby. Somebody will come after us. We've just gotta be patient."

The pink puffball started banging on the elevator doors and yelled, _"Help! Somebody get us outta here!"_

"You're wasting energy," Yoshi sighed.

Kirby whirled around, grabbed the dinosaur by the neck, and started shaking him. "And you're wasting all our precious air!"

"There are air vents. We can't suffocate."

"…Oh."

He seemed to calm down, and Yoshi breathed a sigh of relief. But he thought too soon; Kirby resumed panicking again and attacked the doors once more.

"_Help! Help! We need out now!"_

Yoshi groaned. "Kirby…"

He turned around and hopped up and down. "Yoshi, you don't understand! I can't wait much longer! I need to use the bathroom!"

The dino's eyes grew to the size of saucer plates. There was a long pause, and then both of the trapped Smashers pounded on the doors and screamed for help.

"_Help! Help! We're trapped! Is anyone out there?!"_

Suddenly the doors slid open, and Yoshi and Kirby tumbled out of the elevator. They found themselves on the middle floor, with a large shadow standing over them. They looked up…and Kirby gasped.

"_You!"

* * *

_

**Food Court, Top Floor **

Samus and Snake were hidden behind the main counter in the food court. They had been looking for Yoshi and Kirby (since Samus figured they would be there), but something else had caught their interest. In a shadowy corner of the court, they had spotted a certain cloaked figure leaning against the wall, watching the rest of the top floor.

Samus swept the figure with her scanner, and then frowned. "He's not any species known in my database."

"That must be him," Snake mumbled.

"But what is he waiting for?"

The secret agent lowered himself to the floor and crawled to the corner of the counter to peek out at him without being seen. But he also spied something interesting under one of the tables close by where the figure was. "There are some suitcases," he said. "He's waiting for Mario to return the items from his world."

"If he is, then he must have given him a warning," said Samus.

"Or Meta Knight did."

"…True."

Suddenly they heard static, and saw the cloaked figure shift and take out a radio. A voice exclaimed from it, "Hey, bud, I just saw Meta Knight attackin' that Wario guy and the dark spacesuit chick. He's got 'em occupied; we can move in on the store now."

"Good," replied the Stalker. "I'll be there in a second."

"Gotcha. Boshi out."

The Stalker switched off the radio, tossed one last glance at the table with the suitcase under it, and then walked away. Snake crawled after him, and Samus waited a few seconds until he signaled her to follow. But when they got out into the open, their target was already out of sight.

"Guess he was in a hurry," Samus said, getting a little frustrated.

"Hey, you!"

The two whirled around to find about three dozen Goombas behind them, glaring menacingly.

"You're Smashers, ain't ya?!" snapped one. "Well, guess what! We're gonna turn ya into mince meat!"

Samus clenched her fist. "I'd like to see you try."

The Goombas bellowed a war cry and charged forward to attack. The two fighters got back to back, one armed with her blast cannon, and the other with a rocket launcher. Both wore grim expressions on their faces as they braced themselves for a scuffle.

The Stalker was important, but they had to put these obnoxious talking fungi in their proper place.

* * *

**Sears, Top Floor**

In a shoe section on the top floor of Sears, Ness woke up to find himself buried under dozens of shoe boxes. Groaning in pain, he scrambled out of the mess and ran off before someone found him and made him clean up the mess.

"Man, that hurt," he whined, rubbing his rear. "Why did Zelda wear her really pointy shoes today?"

Suddenly he heard screaming; it sounded like it was coming from a furniture section close by. The boy ran toward the noise, and found a startling sight.

The entire section was overrun with Goombas. Growling and shouting, they leaped on or overturned the furniture. They were angry and bewildered, and constantly shouted to one another.

"Where'd that little brat go?!"

"He isn't anywhere!"

"Let's check another area!"

"Yeah; that one was too scared to be a real Smasher, anyway!"

They turned around to leave, but spotted Ness walking towards them. "Hey! That's one of 'em!" cried one. "Get 'im!"

They cheered and rushed toward him, but Ness was ready. When they were close enough, he whipped out his bat and started swinging it wildly around him. Fungi went flying left and right; none of them were able to touch him. But they started to crowd too close, and the boy decided enough was enough. He jumped up and walked on the Goombas' heads until he reached solid ground. Then he picked up speed and ran deeper into the furniture area, hoping to find a good hiding place. The Goomba mob pursued.

Ness managed to lose the swarm by doubling back and taking sharp turns into small spots. As he crouched under a bed, getting his breath back, he suddenly heard whimpering. Carefully he peeked out from under the bed, and watched a wardrobe only a yard away from him; the noises were coming from inside it. Very curious, the boy came out from his hiding place and cautiously approached the wardrobe. Then he gripped the handles and swung the doors open.

The person inside shrieked, covered his face with his hands, shrank against the back of the wardrobe, and stammered, "P-please, g-go away! I-I didn't d-do anything! L-leave me alone!"

But Ness didn't move; he was too surprised. The person was a boy about his age, and he wore the same kind of outfit, but with a few different colors. He didn't have a cap, and his hair was blond. Ness took a moment to remember his school days before becoming a Smasher; that's how he knew this boy.

"…Lucas? Lucas, it's Ness. We were in the same history class."

The blond-haired boy looked up at him and blinked in surprise. "N-N-Ness? Wh-what are you doing here?"

"I should be asking that question!" Ness replied, getting back some of his fast talk.

"W-well, this weird Master Hand guy told me to come here. He said that he's making me a…a…"

"A Smasher?" Ness's eyes grew wide. "Awesome! I've gotta show you the others! Some of 'em are weird or mean, but lots of 'em are nice!"

"But…but what about those monsters out there?"

"The Goombas? Aw, they're easy. Come on, come on, let's go find everybody!"

Not giving his friend a chance to object, Ness pulled Lucas out of the wardrobe by his arm and hauled him all the way out of the furniture section to find some of the other Smashers.

* * *

**Garage, Bottom Floor**

"Here it is! The hiding place!"

"…Place!"

Marth, Roy, Captain Falcon, Pit, and Young Link blinked in confusion at the metal garage door in front of them. It looked very out of place, and nothing like a hiding place. The blue-haired swordsman had one idea, though.

"Is it supposed to open?"

The Nooklings nodded their heads. "That's right!" Timmy said. "But, um…oops. Dad has the keys."

"Keys," groaned Tommy, slapping his forehead.

Suddenly Captain Falcon brightened. "Hey, maybe it opens when you speak a password!" He walked up to the front of the door, thrust out his arms, and exclaimed, "Open sesame!"

The door didn't budge.

Falcon shrugged and turned to the others. "Well, we're not getting in there."

All four of his friends slapped their foreheads at his stupidity. Pit looked at Young Link and asked, "Is he always like that?"

Without missing a beat, the young Hylian answered, "24/7."

Suddenly they heard shouting, and turned to see Dr. Mario, Fox, and Falco running up to them.

"Hey, guys!" Roy greeted them. "Where have you been?"

"No time!" panted McCloud. "Young Link, we need you right now! That's what DK said!"

Young Link scrunched his face up, puzzled. "What are you talking about? What happened?"

"We'll explain to you on the way! Just come with us!" The fox grabbed the boy's arm and darted back the way they had come, with Lombardi and the Italian doctor following close behind him.

"Waaaah! Fox, don't run so fast!" Young Link yelled. "And you're pulling my arm off!"

Then the group disappeared out of sight, and his cries faded away. Captain Falcon, Marth, Roy, Pit, and the Nooklings were left to stare after them, even more puzzled than before. But suddenly Tommy brightened, ran over to a potted tree close by the metal door, and dug through the dirt. His search rewarded him with a small key. He cheered and danced around, waving it in the air.

"Oh yeah!" said Timmy. "Dad left an extra key!"

"Key, key!" Tommy echoed.

"Then let's unlock the door!" Falcon exclaimed.

Just as the two raccoons moved to unlock the door, they heard loud voices behind them.

"Look! Smashers! Get 'em!"

They whirled around to see a horde of Goombas charging at them. Captain Falcon shrieked like a girl and leaped into Roy's arms, only for the swordsman to drop him on the ground in disgust. The Nooklings cowered in fear behind the group, wondering what to do. Roy and Marth prepared their swords, and Pit stepped forward and charged his bow.

"So, they're back," the winged human muttered, and then thrust a fist into the air. "The fight is on!" (A/N: Sorry, couldn't resist using that phrase of his; he sounds cool when he says it.)

But upon seeing Pit, the Goombas screeched to a halt. "Oh no, it's that freakish dress-wearing Cupid guy!" groaned one.

Pit glared fiercely and fired off a shot into the crowd. "It's not a dress; it's a _toga!"_ he shouted. "And I'm _not_ Cupid!"

The mob backed away in fear, hesitant to attack with Pit there, but they didn't leave either. And as the seconds passed, they began to grow bolder; they outnumbered the Smashers, and if they rushed them, they might be able to take them down with minimal losses to their group. Realizing this, Pit backed toward the metal garage door, whispering, "Get that door open, quick!"

The Nooklings darted for the lock and nervously stuck the key in. There was a click, and then the door shuddered and began to pull upwards. As soon as it was high enough, the Smashers ducked under it, and Roy exclaimed, "Now shut it!" Timmy and Tommy searched for the control panel that would let them close it.

"Don't let 'em get away!" cried a Goomba, and the horde swarmed for the door.

Seconds before the fungi reached the door, it closed completely shut. The Nooklings and the four Smashers were left in complete darkness. There were light switches, but they would rather wait until the Goombas were gone. So they sat on the cold cement floor and listened as the mob banged on the door in a vain attempt to break through. They could only hope that this bunch wasn't as stubborn as the Mario Brothers had said Goombas were, and that it wouldn't be a long wait…

* * *

**Bottom Floor of Smash-Mart**

Inside a dark video arcade, two shadowy figures intensely watched the entrance to a store. They kept their voices low, though no one was there to hear them.

"Shouldn't we break in there right now, man? I mean, we can't let those Smashers get to Peach and that raccoon guy first!"

"I'd agree with you, Boshi," replied the Stalker, "but it isn't that easy. I went into that store before; it's different. I'm thinking that one of them might know how to get in. Then all we have to do is jump them when they come out."

"I never thought of that. Sweet plan, dude!"

He chuckled. "Thanks." Suddenly he tensed, and pointed a finger at the store. "Look, here they come."

Dr. Mario, Fox, Falco, and Young Link stopped in front of the store, and the three explained the situation to the boy. He looked at the sign in the store's window, and he gaped in surprise.

"A modern version of the Treasure Box Game shop?! Whoa! I've so gotta see this! Come on, guys! We'll find them in no time!"

Young Link raced inside the store (which was now open), and his friends soon followed. The Stalker and Boshi came out of the arcade and found places with good cover. Then they hunkered down and waited…waited for the Smashers to emerge with Peach and Nook…


End file.
